Seven Seas of Rhye

catholicism is painfully boring in practice, but it's always drawn the most batshit insane artists and imagery making it, unfortunately, one of the cooler religions. what is jesus had a flaming heart with a crown of thorns and there was blood everywhere. what if mary was stabbed with 12 swords. what if st sebastian suffered in a homoerotic pose. many people are asking this, and more

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

the autism mood of never knowing when its “your turn” in a convo so you say the first word of your sentence about 5 times before you actually get to speak

tetanus fact: it's an old wives' tale that tetanus is caused by rusty metal. it's actually caused by puncture wounds substantially deeper than they are wide, which introduce ubiquitous anaerobic spores (i.e. the "seeds" of single-celled organisms which cannot grow if exposed to oxygen) into a warm, poorly-oxygenated space in the body. so receiving shallow cuts from a rusty knife is not likely to give you tetanus but puncture wounds from clean but non-sterile objects can. this is great news if you like receiving superficial wounds from rusty knives and blades and swords all over your dumbass body

Stop calling them superficial. All my wounds are passionate and meaningful

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

This morning I asked the postwoman (who is my local Google) if she knew of a valiant farrier who might be willing to trim the hooves of my wildly recalcitrant donkey (I already saw one farrier, who wouldn’t even try), and she said “I’ll give you the name of a good farrier. She’s a very, very strong woman. Very muscular. She can pick up your donkey and make him sit in a corner if he doesn’t behave” isn’t life marvellous sometimes

Oh look, it’s entirely possible for a cisgender comedian to crack jokes about transgender people without being transphobic.

I kind of wish disney’s ~weird period~ had lasted longer. Like all of a sudden we were getting these films like lilo & stitch and Atlantis and the emperor’s new groove and treasure planet and they were so fun and DIFFERENT. Just thinking about what the pitches for those movies had to have been like is so surreal?? A little blue criminal alien crash lands on a Hawaiian island and gets adopted by two sisters dealing with social services that teach him about the value of family. An Inca emperor gets turned into a llama and john goodman helps him get back to his palace and one of the bad guys talks to squirrels. Treasure island but in SPACE. Like, on the surface, the premise for these films seem so random but they all TOTALLY WORKED IN REALLY GREAT WAYS??? idk I just really miss that early 2000s spark of offbeat creativity in Disney’s timeline.

That. Explains. Everything.

Dude..

I worked at a bilingual call centre and once tried to end a conversation by saying either “salut” or “au revoir” but I combined them into “savoir!!” So i just said “to know!!” To the customer and hung up

i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back

someone should remake lord of the rings as a grandfather telling a fantasy story to his grand child with flashbacks to world war one showing the dead boys and men the characters were based on. grandpa why didn’t they just fly. because they didn’t. they didn’t.

…oh.

aww