Mirror, tell me something...

OH MAN

LET ME LEARN YOU A THING

AND YET

WE ARE NOW GROWN-ASS ADULTS IN OUR THIRTIES

AND IT STILL GETS QUOTED FROM TIME TO TIME

I HAVE THE WHOLE THING MEMORISED

TO THIS DAY, MY MOTHER REGULARLY SAYS “BUT I AM LE TIRED” BECAUSE OF A VIDEO I SHOWED HER IN FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL

I've been running this blog for over ten years now. Over that time, I've made 1999 monsters for Pathfinder RPG, all available for free on tumblr. Monster 2000 posts very soon. I'm not planning on quitting anytime soon; I've got some new ideas that'll really make 'em scream.

I am also a trans woman. Who was forced to quit her last job over being bullied by students in the classroom and the administration's insufficient response. I have gotten all of one job interview in the whole time I've been looking for work, and I didn't get that job. Although I have launched a Patreon, and I'm very proud of how active it is... it's only a fraction of my rent. And my savings are dwindling as costs are rising.

If you like the monsters I've written. If you've reblogged my posts. If you've stumbled on this site through a Google search because apparently I'm considered an expert on obscure monsters now. Please, I could use the help. My paypal is here and my Patreon is here.

Still unemployed, broke and worried.

My Paypal.me

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.