Please don't block me after the very first sentence, just let me say a few words.
I read both posts with horror. Honestly, judging by what you wrote, this woman doesn't know much about Christianity, even though she calls herself a Christian. Her idea that God created her broken only shows that she is trying to shift the responsibility for her own actions onto someone else. It has nothing to do with Christ and His teaching.
Unfortunately, people — both non/anti-Christians and Christians themselves — often turn the message of love into a religion of guilt and fear. God did not create anyone 'broken'. God does not set 'cruel tests' to trap people. Earthly life is not a survival exam in a torture chamber.
If faith makes a person feel like an irreversibly ruined monster, that is the product of flawed human interpretations, not the will of Christ.
Any Christian boundaries (in any area of life), when understood correctly, are not punishments or ends in themselves. They are meant for spiritual health and inner peace, not suffering for the sake of suffering. God takes no pleasure in someone's pain or loneliness.
Simply put, on a practical level, Christianity is to the soul what sports and a healthy diet are to the physical body. It can be difficult and unpleasant, much like grueling workouts at the gym, but in the end, it is vital. The soul, just like the body, needs medicine, and Christ is the only doctor who can provide it.
I don't know how to feel about this woman's words when she says she left the love of her life to be closer to God. I have never been a worthy, good, or even just Christian, although I do try to be one. Personally, I have never viewed homosexuality as something bad. I've always believed that we love a person for their soul, not their genitals. Because if we love the genitals, then it's no longer about love — it's about lust. And lust is bad; it often leads to violence, especially against women and children. But if we love the soul, does that mean biological sex doesn't matter? I don't know. I know for a fact that in Christianity, same-sex marriage is impossible. However, to be honest, I've, personally, never understood why. Not exactly.
In my denomination (Orthodoxy), gay people are not treated as well as they are in Catholicism, for example. My country is very homophobic. I was raised in very conservative traditions. Therefore, realizing my own asexuality and becoming a gay shipper were... not easy for me. I try to combine a sincere faith in God with my own point of view on certain things; I try to keep it all in harmony in my head. I know it is impossible, but I try.
I will never deny that homosexuality is a sin. But I will always defend my position on this matter. From the perspective of my own religion, I know it's very wrong of me, but this is so important to me that I stand my ground, for better or for worse.
Two examples support me in this regard: Freddie Mercury and Federico García Lorca. These two figures are incredibly important to me, not just creatively, but also within this internal contradiction of mine. Both were gay, yet both sang or wrote about Christ, either directly or indirectly. This means both were believers (even though they belonged to two different religions: Lorca was a Christian, while Mercury was a Zoroastrian by birth and upbringing). And at the same time, both had people they loved.
It made me very sad to read that you hate Christianity, because real Christianity is not at all about what you described in your posts. There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding Christianity today — and perhaps it has always been that way. True Christianity is not what we see everywhere. It is a treasure that has to be dug up, even by those who are within the Christian environment itself. Unfortunately, I cannot defend my religion properly, but if you'll allow me, I would like to recommend two books by two authors who can do it much better than I can:
C. S. Lewis — Mere Christianity. Lewis lost his faith as a child due to his mother's death and was an atheist for many years — actually, for most of his life. But then he met a very devout Catholic and came back to faith. That Catholic's name was J. R. R. Tolkien. As far as I remember, Lewis belonged to the Anglican Church. (You can also read his book Surprised by Joy, where he describes his relationship with Christianity during his time as an atheist).
G. K. Chesterton — The Everlasting Man. This book is divided into two halves: the world before Christ and the world after the coming of Christ. Chesterton was a Catholic.
There is also another author, an Orthodox one; his name is Anthony (Bloom) of Sourozh. I cannot recommend a specific book of his because I read his works in my native language, but I know his writings are available in English since he lived and served in England.
I think it is very easy to hate something you don't know much about. Honestly, the only real way is to go and see for yourself. Don't just settle for surface-level hot takes or what people say online — actually dive in and figure out what it's truly all about. I perfectly understand what you feel and why; I have a similar relationship with Islam as you do with Christianity. But, you know, I try not to judge Muslims by Wahhabis, or various terrorists, rapists, and murderers. I don't want to hate another religion or other people, because hatred corrodes the heart like acid.
And here is one last thing. Next time you think about how much you hate Christianity, please remember that The Lord of the Rings, Les Misérables, All Quiet on the Western Front, and many other wonderful books, movies (for example, Charlie Chaplin's, Frank Capra's, and Mel Gibson's), and video games were created by deeply faithful Christians who put Christian ideas into their works.
If I were in that woman's shoes, and if I had to give advice to vulnerable young people who are on the brink of suicide, here is what I would tell them:
Christianity is probably the only religion where people truly have free will. But the thing is, whatever you choose, you have to face the consequences. (Don't you know that the first mark of a man is that he stands for what he has done? — Erich Maria Remarque, The Black Obelisk). What I know for sure is that suicide doesn't solve anything — it only makes things worse. No matter what choice you make or what mistake you commit, you can always fix it. But you can't fix anything from the grave.
I would beg these vulnerable kids: please, do not make life-altering decisions when you are hungry, exhausted, or in utter despair. I'd tell them to avoid looking for answers in questionable discussions online. Instead, look for them in books by people you can actually trust. Read St. John Chrysostom, St. Augustine, J. R. R. Tolkien, Erich Maria Remarque, Victor Hugo, John Bunyan, Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, and others. It's a good idea to study both theology and fiction written by Christians. In fact, it's best to read authors from all different Christian denominations.
Anyway, Christ said He desires mercy, and not sacrifice (Hos. 6:6). Honestly, it makes no sense that a God who talks so much about love and mercy would want us to torture ourselves. It's just absurd.
Christianity isn't about pushing vulnerable kids toward traumatic decisions. It's about not returning evil for evil, a blow for a blow. It's about lifting up the weak, visiting and caring for the sick, protecting the innocent, and trying your absolute best not to hate anyone. Now, Christianity obviously has a massive — forgive me the term — 'lore', and honestly, it's worth learning and knowing. But at the end of the day, the core of Christianity is love. The kind of love where someone is willing to die just so another can live.
To wrap this up, I'm not going to say the cliché (even if it's deeply true) 'Jesus loves you' — we don't really say that to each other in Eastern Christianity. Instead, I'm going to share a piece of advice. Nobody asked for it, but I'm going to give it anyway. It's advice for you, for the vulnerable people, for myself, and for anyone else who just happened to stumble across this post:
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
stormborns
jacobvanloon
snowghoul
blakekathryn
