the proverbial fool

Laying out the commonly agreed upon facts, what Sugiki did to Fusako was ultimately wrong. It was not great. It was in fact, a kind of evil thing to do that Sugiki did because he wanted to win. Yes it is fucked up, but these characters do not claim to be sane or normal or healthy, like these are fucked up people because they are entrenched in a fucked up thing - one of the most physical acts of love turned into the shackles of competition (the way I feel about how the competitive nature of dance in this movie is a whole different thing that I will happily elaborate upon if asked even once). The morality of what Sugiki did is not really what is at issue.

What is at issue are the reactions from Suzuki and also Sugiki himself. Sugiki sees this moment as his great failure and shame. In that moment he is someone ungentlemanly, cruel, dark, motivated entirely by his desire to win. Arguably he is more ashamed of the fact that he is motivated by his innate desires than about the fact that his actions were cruel (again, he is not a morally irreproachable character). Suzuki sees this moment and is impassive about it because what he thought was a moment of weakness from Sugiki was actually the one moment he actually indulged in what Suzuki thinks the greatest strength of dance is.

That is what Suzuki calls lame, that Sugiki genuinely feels remorse and regret for following his own desires, and that is what frees Sugiki to follow them to the train and to Suzuki and to one of the most artfully crafted film sequences ever. Does Suzuki kind of ignore Fusako and her trauma? Yeah. I do think he is also a little saying in that moment that Fusako is strong enough and that Sugiki doesn't need to hide his desires from her but also they are very self absorbed in their relationships so yes Fusako is disregarded.

I am deeply disappointed in myself for not writing/posting SakuAtsu earlier than this but it's finally here! In the form of harebrained crack.

Some part of Kiyoomi wondered why they took it so seriously. It was a silly game to get to know each other and become familiar, not a moment of pride in a career or validation of personal worth. It was a game. But so was volleyball, and he couldn’t imagine treating any game, even if it was just for fun, like it was anything less than life or death. or: Kiyoomi gets dragged into a reverse talent show with the MSBY gang and regrets every single one of his life decisions.

Actually on time fic promotion for once! I have been completely obsessed with 10Dance to the point where I wrote this entire fic in about 2 hours the day after I watched the movie.

Suzuki’s hands graze his sides, the faint impression a memory of his own hands on Suzuki’s hips all those weeks ago, and more recently the memory of his hands on his own body as he tried to chase that moment in his thoughts. He twists his hips at the same pace, the reversal of their positions sparking heat up his body. Suzuki lets out a whoop, but it lands faintly in Suguki’s ears. All he can think about is those hands tracing the contours of his body. It must feel familiar after all the time they spend pressed together, yet it is fresh and new and exciting and he wants to drown in it until he can’t feel himself anymore. Or: Suzuki takes Sugiki to another Latin club. Sugiki can only think of Suzuki's hips.

(POV Sugiki Shinya, Clubbing, Sexual Tension)

Once again we are back with super late fic promo. This one was written in August also before 3.2 because I am really bad at keeping up with versions (I fear I still haven't played 3.2 so my apologies if this does not work with canon anymore).

You think of all the people you have known in your travels with the Express. The friendships you have witnessed, and the futures they fought for have all inspired you to continue chasing the path of the Trailblaze till the end. Phainon and Mydei, their comradery and friendship, are yet another inspiration, and a motivation for you to bring safety and happiness back to the Eternal City of Okhema, and all of Amphoreus. We can all only hope for a friendship as strong as theirs. or: 5 times Trailblazer didn't realize Mydei and Phainon were in a relationship + 1 time they finally did.

(trailblazer/second person pov, 5+1, relationship reveal, crack)

Sometimes I think about Kageyama. The kid who lost everyone. Who desperately wanted to be loved like he loved and only found that with a ball in his fingers and a net in front of him. The boy whose greatest fear was animals not liking him, was being deserted once again, was being hated by the few living beings that seemed to love everyone. The kid who just wanted to feel like he finally fit somewhere. With someone.

Sometimes I think about them. How they were truly each other's fate, intervention, destiny, whatever you want to call it. The boys who, in not having anyone, found each other. The kids who pushed each other into becoming the best versions of themselves, the kids who never would've found their dreams without each other. The boy with the heart of the sun and the boy with the soul of raging rapids.

Sometimes I think about destiny, and how everything has a place in this world.

Super late fic promo but whatever lets go for it right? Written back in July before version 3.2 because I was sad about the og 3.1 phaidei breakup.

Mydei's destiny awaited. It pulled him towards his home, towards the fate Mydei had never wanted but had been shouldering since long before he became a demigod. It pulled him towards his people. Towards his mother’s final wishes. It pulled him to the future. A future that Phainon had no place in. or: Phainon learns to let Mydei go.

(angst, pining, hair washing/braiding, phainon kinda needs a hug)