haileyfication

“it’s a terrible habit, honestly,” she said with a nod. “it happens to me too. i get lost thinking about things and then bam, i run right into someone.” hailey laughed a little and nodded. “yeah, he thinks he’s a lap dog. sweetest big guy ever, but he thinks he’s way smaller than he actually is,” she said. “no, i couldn’t let you do that. i have four angry hot chocolate addicts at the house and it gets expensive after everything gets added in to make ‘em happy. maybe next time? i’m here all the time, i practically live here.”

“well, not necessarily. cacti plants are actually pretty easy to care for, you just need to make sure you’re doing the right thing for it. don’t get discouraged, you just have to do the research. the cashier might be able to tell you what species it is - but if you wanna start with something super easy, you could try an aloe vera plant. they’re a cacti succulent and it’s a step in the right direction. plus, it’s medicinal and is a natural remedy with certain things,” hailey said. “just make sure you water it every few days and you’re golden."

she hated calling in to work on the last day of the week, but all of the mason kids except the baby were sick. she couldn’t leave them all at the house alone. if it was just leah and brandon, it would have been a little different because they could essentially take care of themselves, but since tucker and milo were under the weather too, and her husband couldn’t stay home, she’d just have to have a sub for her class. thankfully, she was able to give the school a 24-hour notice because milo started not feeling well first, so she would have had to stay home anyways. then the other three fell into line soon after. and she knew they weren’t faking it like they sometimes did - they all had fevers. so, after mr. mason went to work, she took sadie over to her sister’s house so she wouldn’t catch whatever the others had, and the promised to bring hot chocolate home - so that’s why she was at the cafe. unfortunately, she wasn’t paying attention because she was texting leah to let her know she’d be home soon and she felt herself colliding with someone else. “no no, you’re good - i wasn’t even watching where i was walking, i was texting. i always say i’ll learn one day - today is apparently not that day,” hailey said with a small laugh. “no, i couldn’t ask you to do that. i’m fine, i promise. i get knocked down by a 200 pound great dane daily, i can handle a little collision.”

when she realized the person that sat next to her was speaking to her, she put her phone down and her eyes followed where she was pointing as discreetly as possible before looking back and giving the other girl a smile. “sure, not a problem. anything to help a fellow lady out,” she said. “if he’s been harassing you, that bartender on the end, rosie? she’ll kick him out. she doesn’t tolerate it,” hailey said. “are you okay?”

hailey gave him a smile and nodded. “pretty much, yeah. you wanna make sure you’re giving the right regimen to the right plant, though. do you know what kind it is? is it a lophophora, gymnocalycium, opuntia? there's others, but those are the most common."

“well, for starters - i go through every single name before i call the right kid the right name. brandon and tucker, they’ll answer to each others names because they know who i mean by the tone of my voice. milo corrects me, sadie reacts to any name because she only reacts to sound and sight, but leah. she gets salty. i call her the wrong name and she says ‘how do you forget the name of the child that changed your life?’ and i can’t even come back at her because she’s a teenager and she’s better at the sass game - which i taught her, so it’s insulting,” hailey said with a small laugh. “i guess being a mom for so long to so many i learned to multitask. it’s also helpful to be on their good sides. my kiddos can do whatever they wanna do as long as no one’s gonna get hurt, they’re allowed to have friends over whenever they want. i have boundaries and rules, but i’m pretty slack unless they’re grounded. i do what works best for each kid, they all have different rules and consequences. parenting’s not universal, it’s individual to each experience. i think a lot of people fail to realize that when they start judging others, yanno?”

“cold air always smells nice. smells like... ice. my sister makes fun of me for it, but i’ve eaten crushed ice since i was a kid because i like to smell it when it’s straight out of the freezer. in plastic cups, though. not glass. glass cups stink,” she said. “uh... i say we walk there, and then cab share back home? kill two birds with one stone,” hailey said with a small shrug.

the woman she’d pointed out was not only a work office gossip - she was a gossip in general. she went to school with the woman and she was just as bad in high school as she was now. anytime hailey was seen by her and she happened to be talking to a man, it was circled back to her husband. thankfully, they had a strong relationship and didn’t have stupid ‘rules’ about not talking to the opposite genders. besides, they’d been married for 12 years now, and a couple for close to 20. they trusted each other and neither of them gave the other a reason to need to not trust one another. when nosy nancy told her husband of anything, when they sat down for the night, mr. mason would say ‘word on the street is...’ and whatever was said. she didn’t know what this woman’s issue was with her, but hailey kept her distance. “sure, that works for me. their wraps are to die for.”

"nah, she's legal. barely," she joked. "i don't even have to let her, she just does it like it's a source of income," hailey said with a small laugh before nodding. "yeah, he does. he's stuck with me for life. i can't reach the cabinets without him around," she said. "we can go somewhere less chaotic and eat, cause i can't remember the last time i ate. i dunno if you heard it, but my stomach just called me a bitch."

the one thing hailey disliked about college was that most of her professors acted like school was more important than her kids and that she should never miss a class. matthew was different. he'd always understood, and she was able to make up any assignments she missed if she had to skip a class for something to do with the kids, like a doctor's appointment or something to do with their own schooling. she was really glad that they'd kept in touch after she graduated, because anytime she needed advice on how to deal with a certain situation, she could go to him - which she's done here and there. hailey ended up being the same way - understanding when her students were having a hard time and giving them the extra time to complete assignments if they needed that extra time. she was excited when they ended up making plans to meet at the diner and catch up. the other kids were at home with her husband, but she did bring sadie. when he texted her and let her know he was running late, she took that opportunity to feed the baby and get her back in her carseat, which was sitting next to her on the booth, so she wouldn't have to deal with a cranky sadie. just as she popped a binky in the two-month-old's mouth, he arrived and she gave him a smile. "nah, it's alright, i remember how class overran sometimes," she said. "i'm good. i wish the holiday break had been a little longer because i wasn't ready for my maternity leave to end, but the first week back's been pretty good. doing the normal mom and wife stuff, like keeping the husband out of home depot because we have enough tools taking up our garage and keeping my kids from burning the house down with their weird science experiments they got from youtube," hailey said with a small laugh. "how've you been?"

hailey nodded. “that’s my understanding of what i read. they used ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ instead of ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ or female or male-presenting or nonbinary, so it was definitely based on biological or physical anatomy. they talked a lot about genetics and chromosomes having to do with it, which is why, i assume, they weren’t exclusive with other genders and identifications. in the end, it really just depends on the specific person, i think. all of my kids are completely different, despite ‘gender norms’. something or someone being ‘normal’ is subjective anyways. everyone has their own version of normal, so it’s not really fair to clump it all together the way a lot of people do,” she said. she laughed a little and pointed at sadie. “that’s her. she’ll scream her head off. we try the binky, we try diaper changes, feedings, trying to get her to sleep, we try her cuddle toys, all to find out she wanted the blue binky, not the pink one.”

"it's always the shiny stuff with kids, isn't it? maybe they're just tamatoa in his human manifestation," she joked. and it was in that moment she realized they watched moana at the mason house way too often. "they're good. you know leah, teenagery as ever. brandon and tucker have been doing 'science experiments' over christmas break and have ruined two brand new blenders, this guy has been especially clingy," she said, ruffling milo's hair. "and sadie's... kinda boring, just eats, sleeps, and poops, so... not much to say about her - except that she rolled over on her own the other day. i don't think it was on purpose, but it happened and now brandon has this insane ideaology that she's gonna be a super genius, but i think what happened was she was just crying so hard because i was clearly starving her while i took five seconds to get a water bottle before feeding her, and she got mad enough and kicked hard enough that she just kinda... rolled. such a drama queen, i'll have to look out for her."

"i was convinced leah would be our only baby because we were so young when we had her, but here we are with five," she said. "i'm moving out if there's anymore 'we have some news' talks. every time we have one of those talks, it's a baby," leah said. hailey rolled her eyes playfully. "i can't have anymore, you know that. stay off my nerves though, i'll have it reversed just to spite you one day," she joked. hailey nodded at his statement. "that's partly true - mostly personality, of course, but there's also biological, genetic, neurological and chemical reasons why certain aspects of a child are 'gendered', if that makes sense. studies show that boys are usually easier to raise and it has something to do with genetics and their biology - i don't know exactly how it works. but it's definitely not true for us. except milo, he's my sweet little guy," she said, kissing milo's head. "the baby's definitely the easiest, though. she either wants to eat, needs a diaper change, or needs a nap. it's one of three things, it doesn't take long to figure out."

"oh, so still a kid - makes sense," she shrugged. she was only four years older than the girl they were speaking of, but that was a big enough age gap for her to consider her a kid still, even though she hated it when people still thought of her as a kid at that age. she was married and had kids of her own at twenty-six, so being called a kid was irritating to say the least. "well, maybe it's a good thing that plan won't work, i just caught a glimpse of one of my husband's co-workers and she's a bit of a gossip, so lord knows she'll be talking about seeing me talking to another man at the office tomorrow. i vote we leave too, there's nothing fun to do anymore. where'd your date go, anyways? she doesn't seem to be very interested if she's not even spending time with you."

“well, how old is she? cause maybe she’s just at that age where clubbing is all the rage,” hailey said. did people still say ‘all the rage’ these days? was she an old lady now? she didn’t think thirty was old, but if you asked a newer generation kid, oh yeah - she was ancient. “yanno what, i feel like a grandmother too, half the people here don’t even look old enough to be here. i wouldn’t even be here if the husband hadn’t dragged me out - and then he dipped for an emergency at work. i don’t even know why i stayed. i say we ditch this place together. if we run into her, i’ve got my wedding ring on. we see her and she comes up to us, we’re married. it’s an easy out.”

“ah, i remember being twenty-six... spent most of it on the couch, in bed, or in the kitchen cause this little guy made me tired and hungry all the time,” she said, giving milo’s sides a gentle tickle, earning a giggle. “look, see, we got a band-aid, your knee will feel better in no time. can you tell him ‘thank you’?” hailey said as she put the band-aid on his knee quickly and expertly - and after fifteen years of tending to owwies, she was definitely an expert. “thank you,” milo said, leaning against his mother. “mom! mommy! can we go to the ice cream truck?!” tucker asked as he and his brother ran up to the bench. “it’s fifty degrees, tucker,” hailey said. “yeah, but they have the spongebob one!” “jesus - i guess, whatever. my purse is in the diaper bag. you have to actually eat it this time though, it’s not staying in my freezer for a year. ice cream is a food, not a collectible!” she called after the boys as they ran off. “...i was under the assumption that my boys would be my easy kids, but my girls are way easier,” hailey said.