fond memories of how one my shipmates would very earnestly ask the youngest deckhand ‘was that yeet? was that a yeet?” every time he tossed docklines

☕☕☕☕

I don’t know who this white boy is but I trust him

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

This was like reading a Lemony Snicketts book.

me being ignored (now that i am mature): this is fine i suppose

this is a lie im on the verge of tears

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

giant powdered doughnut

ICONIC

I was gonna put this in my queue but tbh I think it’s more relevant right now.

Yeah.

I can’t believe this is happening. It’s like we’re living in Real Husbands of the White House