I have the thumb of a reasonable person

my 5 year plan is to get back my joy

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

rock & roll

girl i just walked into that one like a coyote with a painted tunnel

"questions will be answered and you will be left highly unsatisfied because what you really wanted was love" is a quote that has lived in my mind for years now. it is the mantra i repeat to myself every time i become consumed by unfinished business, ever since i had a death in the family of someone i had huge unresolved beef with. i think of it as the focal point of all of my art. and of most art in general. and as far as i can find, the origin of it is from a random person's film blog review of prometheus 2012 ????

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

You'd think "oh, well they're rich dipshits with no training who pulled a Stockton Rush, IE: did something everyone told them not to and then died" but nope, 90% of cave diving stories are like "Johnny Wetsuit had 5000 hours diving experience, a doctorate in Cave Diveology from the most prestigious university in the world, was trained to swim by literal navy seals, was part dolphin and had the power of echo-location, God himself contacted him to let him know the conditions in Drowning Idiot Cave were going to be perfectly safe for cave diving, so he went Cave Diving, made one tiny mistake, and then he got stuck and drowned to death."

blows up a random stranger with a rocket launcher for no reason then falls to the ground weeping histrionically & receives the tender attention & support of everyone present

tu LANCES félicette ? tu lances son corps comme la fusée ? oh ! oh ! prison pour les scientifiques ! prison pour les scientifiques pendant Un Mille Ans !