I'm the Video Game Boy! I'm the one who wins!

(parent feeding a baby in the 1800s before airplanes were invented) here comes the nothing

hey guys do you want to circulate the heirloom dancing spiderman again i feel like we could stand to do that

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

#i was in a car with a linguist i had never met before the car trip and like half an hour in he looked at me#after i finished describing a geology thing that was happening out the window and asked if i'd ever spent much time on tumblr#the fuckor of it all#and then we spent six more hours driving#it sure does leave linguistic markers! i'm not sure i'm good with it (tags via @thoughtsformtheuniverse)

it is one thing to be a linguist and another to be a linguist who knows enough of 2010s Tumblr to spot one of its enjoyers

What’s your fantasy?

I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.

reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true

I would also like a healthy body please while we’re at it?

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

i need all the help i can get for finals

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

"how can you remember that" I remember Everything. unless I forget

sending people wikipedia articles is my favorite form of humor. one time a long time friend of mine asked why i was using a different name and acting different i sent him the wikipedia page for DID. ryder just asked me why its 108 degrees in nevada right now and i sent him the wikipedia page for global warming and the season of summer.

i see you all in the tags going "this is so funny" you better not steal my fucking bit. im copyrighting this joke

penis blast nefarious

diverse types of penis blast call the penis blast various

penis blast electrical

penis blast delectable

penis blast campaigning call the penis blast electable

‘You need to learn to prioritise’ no YOU do! You’re the one dishing out tasks!! All I need to do is take things back to the onion!

IT’S SO HARD WHEN YOU’RE IN A CUDDLY MOOD AND DON’T HAVE ANYONE TO CUDDLE WITH THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

[Seducing You] I made pasta.