you’ve heard of existential dread and existential horror, now get ready for existential peace, which is that feeling when you stare up at the nightsky and think, “huh. i exist. that’s pretty neat.”

If we can’t invent a touchscreen that recognizes an ass-dial by the 24th century, we really have no business being in space at all.

Happy 10th anniversary to by far the most viral reblog I ever made. I still see screengrabs of this on my own facebook dash like, once a month.

making cats use windows 8 is cruel and unusual

this was about a cute little dinosaur plushie. get your mind out of the gutter

"sorry for party rocking" I don't think you are. I think you're sorry you got caught

If you're at my funeral and you think it's a little boring, just spice it up. Drink a little too much. Flirt with a few people here and there. Start a fight. It's what I would've wanted

i DON'T need them to kiss i need them to come to the sobering realisation that their souls are merged and no part of them is extricable from the other anymore

you relapsed on yearning again didn’t you

Here at fuck you I’m going to kill you company, we care

in small fandoms you need to be grateful to the person who only accidentally hit you twice with a frying pan while trying to make you breakfast. in big fandoms you can block people for wearing a shirt you don’t like

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.

take your wedding ring off that's literally fetish gear and you're wearing it in public you disgusting freak nobody wants to see that