Andulka
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
occasionally subtle
hello vonnie
Peter Solarz
$LAYYYTER
Janaina Medeiros
Cosmic Funnies
shark vs the universe
YOU ARE THE REASON
JBB: An Artblog!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
taylor price
titsay
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Italy
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Canada
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Côte d’Ivoire
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
@green-t-ea
Commission info
Ill have 3 slots available, I might open more up another time.
Things I will draw:
-furry
-mecha
-oc's
-fanart
-gore
-suggestive (I will not draw legitimate NSFW but I will draw slightly saucy stuff because it's fun)
Things I won't draw
-super complex designs (they will be simplified, I'll discuss what will be simplified on case by case basis)
-nsfw (as stated above, I will only do slightly suggestive things, no genitalia here)
Pricing + Example art Below
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conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 75 (masterpost here)
*foil cracking, chewing noises*
Jason: -no, because B didn't take me in specifically because he wanted me to be Robin. that came after. pass me the sauce, Day. thanks.
Tim: i thought you met him when he was Batman though?
Jason: yeah i met him when he was Batman, but he didn't take me home because he wanted a new Robin, he took me in because i was homeless, i stole his tires, called him a fucktart to his face, and then kneecapped him with a tire-iron.
Dick, observationally: i'm pretty sure he took you in as some sort of version of self harm.
Tim: *snort*
Jason, muffled: mm- 'okes on him though, cause i turned out to be a complete introvert.
Dick: yeah i don't think he expected the violent street kid to love homework so much.
Damian: so how did the transition to being Robin happen? he allowed Grayson to join him to get closure after his parents' death, correct? what led him to allow you to take up the mantle?
*slurping through a straw*
Jason: well, i think his intentions were good when he first decided to take me in, because i asked if i'd be the next Robin and he told me i wasn't being adopted just so he could have a partner, and Robin was out of the question. i was just happy to live in a mansion, so i let it be.
Dick: you let it be? he told me you basically forced him to let you have the mask.
Jason: *laughs* well he would, wouldn't he? he's too embarrassed about how petty he was being.
Tim: what was petty about it?
Jason: *snort* ok, but Dick you can't be an ass about it- it was like a decade ago.
Dick, with anticipatory annoyance: why-? *pause* oh shut up.
Jason: um, *slight snicker* yeah, so, admittedly he did just give me the mantle to slightly piss you off a bit,
Dick, instantly: I FUCKING KNEW IT- OH MY GOD.
*smacking sound, harsh footsteps*
Damian: oh, now he's pacing.
Dick: ALL THESE FUCKIN' YEARS OF 'IT WASN'T PERSONAL, DICK, IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH UPSETTING YOU, DICK, IT WAS JASON THAT WANTED IT, DICK-'
Jason: *wheezing* ok- OK but in his defence, i did also want it a lot-!
Dick: YOU SAID YOU'D LET IT GO!
Jason: w- yeah, i did, and then i met you.
*silence*
Dick, abruptly quiet: i was not that bad.
Jason, indignant: YOU- YOU-
Tim, absently: it's like dinner and a show,
Damian: i know right?
Jason: -YOU MET ME FOR THE FIRST TIME, LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN LIKE I WAS ONE OF THE FUCKING PEDOPHILES ON TO CATCH A PREDATOR,
Dick: I WAS NOT- *breaks into a wheeze*
Jason: -PROCEEDED TO TELL BRUCE WITHOUT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING ME, 'at least when you took me in the people of Gotham could understand it, i was adorable; what the fuck is this thing?'
Dick: *silent wheezing*
Tim: fuck off, were you actually that mean?
Dick: *gasping* i-
Jason: YES HE WAS. anybody in my position would have met that little prick and instantly decided to steal his old job, i refuse to take criticism on the matter!
Damian: and Father went along with that?
Jason: mm- not at first. but then he and B got into an argument where Dick stole Bruce's work laptop because 'he wasn't using it, so it was up for grabs' and i think B just wanted to get back at him by stealing something of his instead.
Dick: -completely unproportionate response, by the way.
Jason: no, but neither was seeing Bruce's calvin klein underwear modelling campaign and instantly creating the Discowing suit to 'show him what it felt like when your family member acts like an attention seeking whore', so you're both as bad as each other.
Tim: *aghast* IS THAT ACTUALLY WHY YOU DID THAT?!?
Dick: i- *breaks into wheezes again*
Damian: you know, considering everybody claims being Robin is so 'magical', the story of its origins and pathway through life sure is covered in a lot of spiteful bullshit.
Jason: yeah, well, that's just the family business at this point, isn't it? now pass me that burrito, if Dick wont finish it then i fucking will.
If Jasmine Fenton in the Blood Blossom Au survived the gas leak, and Danny died instead
She would still end up living with Vlad
But because she doesn't have a horrific trauma bond with him like Danny did, for the four months she spends with him, it's more like they're roommates trying to cohabitate.
...It's not very successful.
When Jazz isn't locking herself in her room so she could wallow in her grief and insurmountable guilt over failing at protecting Danny again and letting him die in their house, again
Then she is tormenting the fuck out of Vlad in whatever way she can. Cutting her hair short in a bob similar to Mom's. Hiding everything of Danny's so Vlad can never get his hands on it ever again. Wearing Dad's clothes around the castle. Trashing the place. Raising hell and getting into screaming matches whenever she can, using Danny as a way to hurt him.
Her baby brother was your greatest obsession? The son you always wanted? The child that should've been "rightfully" yours to begin with?
Cool, great, you can never lay eyes on the objects he loved ever again.
Get his name out of your mouth. He was not your godson, he was not your son, he was never your family. You don't deserve to mourn him. Not after everything. Not after what you've done.
Danny is not here to give you your next second chance, and she never will.
She is making up for all the lost time that she could not protect Danny from him.
There is no love lost between the two of them. Jazz hates Vlad in a way that Danny never could, and until the day she meets Bruce, and even after it, she'll never let him forget otherwise.
There's something so personally impersonal between a supervillain and the sibling of the superhero they used to torment.
Danny and Vlad have such a history with one another because of their experiences; they both shared the same loneliness that came with being a halfa. They both died from the same thing, by the hands of the same people, regardless of its intentionality.
In Danny's eyes, Vlad was his archnemesis, the guy trying to murder his dad, an asshole; he was evil, cruel, and selfish. He was the only other Halfa in existence, his godfather; someone that could've been his family too if things had been a little bit different.
Vlad Masters was someone Danny thought he could save if he just tried hard enough.
In Jasmine's eyes, Vlad Masters is just the man that tortured her little brother for three years.
And Vlad does not care about her the way he cared about Danny; he only cares that she ran off because she's a connection to Danny. And you'd think, for a man that has such personal, deeply-rooted obsessions with everyone else in the family, that he would have one for Jazz too, who is the spitting image of the woman he loved.
Except he doesn't. He barely acknowledges her existence in the family beyond her association as Danny's sister. Not even Maddie or Jack's daughter, but Danny's sister.
Which is such a special kind of infuriating. How can you interfere with her custody arrangements, kidnap her from her aunt, lock her in the house with the rest of Danny's things that you could get your hands on, and still end up ignoring her most of the time?
How dare you exclude her from her own family?
It's utter salt in the wound.
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 74 (masterpost here)
Jason: *over the sound of a motorcycle speeding* -swear to god, this bitch looks me dead in the eyes, and i'm thinking 'man i'm about to get clocked aren't i?'
Dick, indignant: Hood, you can't- *breathy laugh* you can't tell somebody to their face that their child looks like the 'do the roar' kid from Shrek!
Jason, still speeding: i can if it's true. anyway, she didn't clock me but she did tell me she was gonna report me to the HOA, so i was like, fuck man not this shit again,
Dick: *cackling*
Tim: they're like your version of the galactic empire, huh?
Jason: at this point, yeah. anyway i told her not to, and that we should just-
*tires screeching*
Jason: wHAT THE FUCK IS THAT- OHHOLYSHITFUCK-
*large crash* *burst of static* *silence*
Dick: ...Hood? fuck- HOOD?
Tim, casually: ope, there he goes.
Dick, panicking: FUCK. Hood, status? Hood!? shit, who's closest to Crime Alley?
Damian: uh- i am, i think, but i don't think Hood is hurt.
Dick: what? DID YOU NOT HEAR-?!?
Damian: i know; but Red isn't worried so obviously he's fine.
Dick: HOW THE FUCK WOULD HE KNOW, HE'S IN DIAMOND DISTRICT TONIGHT!?
Tim, absently: oh yeah Hood's fine, he probably just broke his com or something.
Damian: see? his sense would have gone off.
Dick: ...his 'sense'?
Damian: Red Robin has a special Hood-sense that tells him when Akhi is in danger.
Tim: hm- um, yeah. i got exposed to a magical artifact and now i'm connected to Hood mentally.
*a beat*
Dick: what.
Damian: Hood has text me. 'somebody shot a firework at my bike and it scared me, i broke my com in the crash, tell everyone i'm not dead'. ...i'm gonna go see if he needs help.
*disconnecting ping*
*silence*
Dick, muttering: 'a firework scared me' it's like working with a fucking border collie.
Tim: *snort* i mean at least he's alive?
Dick: yeah- ok, you do not have a fucking magical connection to Jason.
Tim, amused: yeah, nah i don't.
Dick: so what the fuck is he on about?
Tim, without missing a beat: oh we've synched our fitbits to compete in weekly step-counts, so if his heartbeat gets too elevated or stops completely i'd get an alert.
*a beat*
Dick: so why does Damian-?
Tim: we just thought it was funny if he thought i was magical.
If Jasmine Fenton in the Blood Blossom Au survived the gas leak, and Danny died instead
She would still end up living with Vlad
But because she doesn't have a horrific trauma bond with him like Danny did, for the four months she spends with him, it's more like they're roommates trying to cohabitate.
...It's not very successful.
When Jazz isn't locking herself in her room so she could wallow in her grief and insurmountable guilt over failing at protecting Danny again and letting him die in their house, again
Then she is tormenting the fuck out of Vlad in whatever way she can. Cutting her hair short in a bob similar to Mom's. Hiding everything of Danny's so Vlad can never get his hands on it ever again. Wearing Dad's clothes around the castle. Trashing the place. Raising hell and getting into screaming matches whenever she can, using Danny as a way to hurt him.
Her baby brother was your greatest obsession? The son you always wanted? The child that should've been "rightfully" yours to begin with?
Cool, great, you can never lay eyes on the objects he loved ever again.
Get his name out of your mouth. He was not your godson, he was not your son, he was never your family. You don't deserve to mourn him. Not after everything. Not after what you've done.
Danny is not here to give you your next second chance, and she never will.
She is making up for all the lost time that she could not protect Danny from him.
There is no love lost between the two of them. Jazz hates Vlad in a way that Danny never could, and until the day she meets Bruce, and even after it, she'll never let him forget otherwise.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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every now and then i remember how funny the lego batman Dick Grayson adoption story was. like, Dick was just a fanboy in an orphanage who decided it would be cool if Bruce Wayne was his dad, so when he met Bruce he straight up just asked if Bruce would adopt him, and Bruce wasn't listening to a word this kid was saying because he was distracted, so he just assumed Dick wanted an autograph and signed the adoption documents in Dick's hands, and then he just got in his car and drove off. Alfred had to be the one to go back and get him, just sighing as he opened the car door like 'well, i guess it's legal now, you better get in'. like that's gotta be top ten funniest fucking ways for Bruce to adopt a kid. i think that method should be used more, and i personally think it should be used by Tim.
like- fanboy/stalker child Timothy Drake; knows his parents suck and he decides he wants a new dad. and who would be fucking better than the man he knows for a fact to be Batman?! i want Tim to straight-faced no fear just march up to Bruce during some kind of event with guardianship papers he's already forged his parents signature on, deciding to face-to-face randomly ask this man to be his new dad.
Bruce is not paying attention to anything this kid says, by the way. Bruce is trying to leave the event because Jason's with him and he wants the kid to get an early night before school the next morning. there's press and people asking for pictures swarming the street between him and his car. it's too loud, he's got Jason clinging to his hand and trying to keep up from behind, and there's so many people clamouring for his attention that when this little kid somehow manages to slip up to his side, paper and pen in hand, that he vaguely remembers as one of the kids in his neighbourhood, Bruce just quickly scrawls his signature where the kid points and then tries to shove the paparazzi back again.
Jason's the only one who notices, having tuned out all the other visual and audio mess because he trusted Bruce to handle it. when he sees the glee on Tim's face his hand slips from Bruce, and while the man steps away to demand everybody clear a pathway to his car for him and his kid, he leans over and actually reads what Bruce just signed.
he looks at the paper. he looks at Tim. he looks at the paper.
it's genuinely the funniest fuck up he's ever seen the man do. he visibly has to hold back laughter as he claps Tim on the shoulder and solemnly declares, "welcome to the family, weirdo." before Bruce reaches back to grab him by the sleeve and tug him away again.
Tim goes home to pack his bags and then smugly shows up at Wayne Manor the next day, where Jason lets him in and shows him to one of the empty bedrooms. Alfred spots them and stops for a minute, wondering if this is something he should be involved in. then the kettle goes off and he figures it's not his problem. Bruce does not clock that there is another person unpacking and starting to live in his house until Tim sits next to him at the dinner table and no-shame starts referring to him as dad while Jason gives him the most shit-eating grin imaginable.
i think the marvel vs dc conversation is bad because they're very different animals and i think its very obvious in how they approach the avengers and the justice league, even if you compare it between dceu and mcu, because at the end of the day superheroes in marvel seem to be allied with the governemtn regardless of their cause, like shield and avengers seem to be deeply connected in both fucntion and system because they're lead by a military guy and then the league in itself is funny because literally no one gets paid, they consider it volunteer work, that they operate outside of the planet so they would not be beholden to one state
the Avengers: you don't understand, we HAVE to work with the government. to protect people.
the JL, in their satellite floating just outside of Earth's jurisdiction: lmao ok
Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system
(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy
One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable
To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit
"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."
I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.
everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing
Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction
They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined
Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman
beating this dead horse with memes
Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site
We’re happy to have you!
“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again
this is exactly what I’m talking about
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finished my first semester oufh god finally blorbo time
The shadow hands of god.
a short comic about witches and wishes and wanting things.
(all my comics are here!)
Beautiful story! I also love the color composition! ❤️💙
Beautiful dash pull
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I loved this post just because all the comments flipped between sincere appreciation and mockery of the birds
Art dump art dump art dump \o/
I got watercolor notebooks and a ton of new alcohol markers for christmas so i’ve been on a little drawing spree these last few days (as seen by the little danny a posted earlier this week)
In order of least recent (back in february) to most recent (today as of april 17th)
the boy ever
