I never signed up for any of this

not now honey, mommy’s yearning for something that once was and will never be again

as per my last straw,

You wanna log in? What's your username? No. What's your email address? What's your password? What code did we just send to your email address? Now what code did we just text to you? New IP address detected. We sent you an email. Click the link to confirm the new address. Scan your fingerprint. Turn on your camera for age verification. Sign the updated user agreement. Accept all cookies? That feature isn't available on the website. Download the app. Those features are in the app. The app that's really a web browser.

im not the same person i was when I pulled that meat out of the freezer this morning. I've changed. i don't have that in me anymore. ive moved on

im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting

doomscrolling thru the weather app

How do I... use this? I don't know what to do ;-;

here’s a youtube tutorial by the guy who made it

You can give a cat a pill 3 times and then they will have your move set memorized and will animation cancel a swallow

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

is it culturally appropriate to say “here comes the airplane” to your baby if you had twins

Imagine all the things I could do if I just did them.

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all