Bhoot in the bungalow

at this point I’ve nearly forgotten that pirating movies and software is illegal

#i get so pissed at low quality stuff though like this isn’t what i didn’t pay for

They should invent a type of flirting where I can tell when it’s happening

"Why would this character be jealous of their friend's romantic relationships? Clearly they're in love with them" I don't know if you guys have ever Had Friends but it's actually pretty common for people to feel jealous if their best friend suddenly has less time for them and is prioritising someone they just met over them. That's not inherently romantic, that's the general human desire to be valued by the people you value.

obsessed with the fact we’ve all been clamoring to finally see grover in the wedding dress and the writers said “you know what, we’ll do you one better” and gave us grover AND percy in the wedding dress 💀

having to come to terms with the fact that love is not an everlasting performance in which you attempt to retain the attention of your significant other but rather a release of control and putting faith into them and trusting them to choose to stay with you no matter what you have to offer

to love and be loved is to rest

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

*nods wisely* not the sharpest knool in the shed

so full of love and rage, very yin & yang of me

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

My favourite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call

It’s called connotations.

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

The thing about bugs bunny is that he lives and dies by his bits. He’s fully capable of killing you if he wanted, but the thing is, not only is he a nice guy, he’s a funny guy. To beat bugs bunny, many people assume that you just have to not fall for the jokes. If he hits you with a pie, you don’t flinch, and eventually you’ll ware him down. The issue is, misery will only last you so long. There’s only so much bits to endure before it becomes funny. And whoever is getting laughed at is losing. Instead, to kill bugs bunny, you have to beat him at his own game. When he throws a pie, don’t try to sidestep or be a sourpuss, that’s playing into his hands. Instead, you comically open your mouth and swallow it whole. This is how you kill a god.

sometimes when you like a fictional character too much and they feel too targeted it’s actually irritating bc why was the creator in my business like that

The tortoise and the hare have worked out their differences and are now sharing an apartment

Rivals to lovers combination slowburn/speedrun