I'm a ghost

this blog may contain sensitive content (its me im sensitive)

guards! read me my bedtime yaoi

my liege if you keep having all of the guards come to your bedroom to read you bedtime stories, there will be no one to actually guard the castle during that time!

any intruders are welcome to join us for story time

my liege the enemies to lovers yaoi is affecting your perception of the danger of real enemies.

when will it be my turn.

holy fuck

happy one year to bedtime yaoi

How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

what’s wrong? you’ve barely touched my spores

touch my spores.

why aren’t you touching them

why do you hate spores. and me. and potential losses of autonomy

we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious

i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny

&also it allows you to experience the joy of talking like an autistic vampire, which i highly recommend

I have never, and will never, use "ofc" to mean "of fucking course". It literally stands for OF Course...

also using pov incorrectly

A M A Z I N G

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

Hm. Interesting. Apparently cortisol production depletes magnesium stores. And I have a lot of symptomatic overlap with magnesium deficiency. And it can apparently help migraine. And ADHD. I think I'm going to try supplementing magnesium glycinate. L-threonate sounds really interesting too as that's magnesium that can cross the blood-brain barrier and apparently is super useful for memory and shit.

this can't keep happening

@lilybug-02

Happy Be Nice to Bugs Day everyone. This is a very important day. ❤️☝️ go out and find a bug for me please!

The phrase “Tip: I am so fucking mad” will not leave my brain

humans have spent thousands of years keeping critters in our homes to keep other critters out of our home

There is,,, a lobster. On the way

There is a lobster somewhere in the facility but we don’t know where

This is not a joke btw I was supposed to receive and acclimate a lobster today but I waited around in the lobby for an hour before finding out that the Lobster Deliverer went around back and gave the lobster to the aquarist and he went out on a diving trip without telling anyone where he put the lobster. There is literally a lobster here somewhere and we can’t find it. Lobster location unknown.

Update he put it in one of the lobster traps tied to the pier. Which is fine, that’s where it was gonna go anyway until we set up its display, but I would’ve preferred to acclimate it before plopping it into the ocean. But the hooligan has been contained. There will be no surprise lobster attacks today.

Oh my god happy anniversary to that time we misplaced Neptune!!!!