we shouldn't be here

You guys would like my posts a lot more if you had my exact life experiences and internal monologue

tumblr users being generally knowledgeable about phishing attempts and scams and yet not hesitating to click various links from unknown users because they say such things as "spin the wheel to determine your alvin and the chipmunks band persona based on my favorite italian desserts" and we go "heck yeah."

gay men brought back 70s mustaches, lesbians brought back 80s mullets, and now straight dudes are just walking around with both thinking they stumbled onto this styling choice by accident. say the line meryl (cerulean sweater monologue but specifically about how gay culture creates taste)

awhile ago a coworker and i were play arguing whether or not the mystery gang were all romantically a thing/polycule or just really good friends (yknow bored at work things) and knowing my bfs interest in scooby doo i texted him asking him to be the tie breaker and he responded “well it depends which canon youre going off of” and just instantly cold sweat knew i was out of my depth

Artfully layering an axe bodyspray deodorant and two different perfume oils to create a tasteful mixture of amber, oud, mint, lavender, moss and petrichor, producing a scent that smells exactly like damp, stale, rotting laundry.

Reminds me of that tumblr user that made powdered milk with sparkling water and created instant spoiled milk

That was also me.

Do you know any other ways to speed ruin things?

I wish I knew any other way to do anything.