i do not believe this darkness will endure

Finally: ethical drunk driving

@eroticsudoku

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

politicians will name their proposals "the act to defend freedom and justice by the honesty coalition of friendship" and the contents will be a comprehensive plan on how the state should spike the tap water with giardia and start guillotining elderly golden retrievers in public

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

sorry i rear ended you. my car is.. in heat

Yeah its kind of a compliment i guess. that it wants to fuck your car. so just tell your insurince that

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

@gracelingdesolate

getting characters into world-endingly intense codependent queerplatonic relationships is literally what life is all about. it is literally what we were put here on this earth to do