grace has nits

always remember gay men are the reason we dont have to pay for public bathrooms in canada

WAIT HUH??? IM CANADIAN????? WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARS ABOUT THIS UNTIL NOW??????

two gay men got arrested for fucking in a public bathroom but they argued since you had to pay for it it was a hotel and it was fine. their defence worked and we dont have to pay for bathrooms anymore

thats because i lied about this

I dont remember saying that

common misconception! Thomas Crapper didn't invent the flush toilet. it was actually patented by Alexander Cumming. what Crapper invented was the floating ballcock.

Guess who just decided to fact check this post and found out that yes, the information above is correct…

10000 years ago we were cats purring next to each other in a patch of sunlight. you dont remember but its fine

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

@greenvelvetchaise

I dare say that cup resembles...no, I shan't say it...

Honey, we are having guests, could you set out the fine gina?

stop eating gruel with the fools and come eat a leek with a freak

ummm hi do u remember me? we were two bacterias in the acidic springs of ethiopia and we were friends

i miss windows xp it felt like a family member at the house

your skin is soft and worm like windows xp

so fucking rude that skipping is considered childish when it is absolutely the best form of foot-based transportation. less energy intensive than running but faster than walking. i am being fucking efficient and it is not my fault that efficiency is also whimsical and silly looking

does anyone have that *grabs your dick* system shock post? 

no, also why did you grab my dick