blog of the year

at some point Tony soprano says "my pussy?" and i need that screenshot but dont want to look for it

Quick, before the killer gets in here, show me your asshole!

at this point i think i'm going to start being more of an asshole about spelling and grammar. people are using woman as a plural (out loud), people have forgotten the difference between there, their and they're, people are using lose and loose interchangeably. fuck it

going to have fish sticks for the first time in at least 15 full, christian years. Will keep you updated. and yes before you ask, there are 120 of them in the bag.

shes the 6 to my 7

hello, my name is Richard Horseshooter. I'm running for lieutenant governor of wherever the fuck, arkansas. please vote for me so I can prove to my wife she was wrong about me. and Darlene if youre watching this fuck you, please come back

joke concept. royal taster eating pussy. I dont know you put it together yourself

im so sorry billiam. you kickflipping the fork lift was the most impressive thing ive ever seen, and I will carry it with me until I reach the kingdom of heaven, but I am gonna have to give you your first warning because you cannot do that

what's all this nyansense

damn queen can I get your number? *hands you my phone with the calculator app open*

bartander fill me up a round of dr paper

ah fuck. they said I have to be the oracle. I dont wanna go in a cave

let me save us both some time, scam caller, I don't remember my social security number, and I dont know where the card is

accidentally electrocuted another public pool full of innocent byswimmers with nothing but the electrical signals from my brain. this is what its like for me as a genuis with the most advanced brain in the world and there's no way to stop this from continuing to happen