blog of the year

i like adding "a guy like me" to sentences for no reason. "how might a guy like me spell your phone number?"

I was hanging out with mr beast once and he threw my wallet off the pier into the ocean. then he pointed at it and said "look a rare fish". then he shoved me

I sued and won 10 prillton dollars

Who The Fuck Is Ellen R. And Why Do Video Games Want Me To Press Her

In my lab coming up with new numbers. 3. wait that is one already. hold on

come talk that shit in Aqua Verde, Texas you fucking pussy. see what happens. not such a big man when you're in the Verd, huh?

DELTARUNE IN FORTNIGHT

i should start caring about final fantasy

and you know what I can compare apples to oranges. oranges are better

I was a contestant on wheel of fortune 11 years ago and one of the other contestants kept closing her eyes, holding her finger to her temple and clearly using telekinesis to make me bankrupt every time. and pat didnt say SHIT

the other superheroes dont take me seriously just because my nemesis is Juicy Jim and his Cream Beam

the first time i got in trouble for swearing as a kid was because i said fuck after failing a QTE to remove a woman's dress in assassins creed 2

slimegirl in my apartment building gave me a pseudopodjob once. i wasnt grateful at the time

im having trouble securing funding for my new show "Who Wants To Be A Trillionaire?". what the fuck is the problem

Had a big ol turkey leg dream. hungry emoji hungry emoji drooling emoji

your resistance is futile. otherwise known as pointles

my son was born a hologram. also he's gay