blog of the year

i should start caring about final fantasy

and you know what I can compare apples to oranges. oranges are better

I was a contestant on wheel of fortune 11 years ago and one of the other contestants kept closing her eyes, holding her finger to her temple and clearly using telekinesis to make me bankrupt every time. and pat didnt say SHIT

the other superheroes dont take me seriously just because my nemesis is Juicy Jim and his Cream Beam

the first time i got in trouble for swearing as a kid was because i said fuck after failing a QTE to remove a woman's dress in assassins creed 2

slimegirl in my apartment building gave me a pseudopodjob once. i wasnt grateful at the time

im having trouble securing funding for my new show "Who Wants To Be A Trillionaire?". what the fuck is the problem

Had a big ol turkey leg dream. hungry emoji hungry emoji drooling emoji

your resistance is futile. otherwise known as pointles

my son was born a hologram. also he's gay

I know you guys were talking about how my death would serve the cause more than my life would. I overheard you at lunchtime. its NOT true. STOP

what if the truman show studio went out of business. would they put him down?

an old person being stupid is extremely funny. cuz its like buddy you had every opportunity

this fucking genesis order porn game cannot be good enough to stay in fitgirls top 5 most downloaded of the week for like months at a time

my boy flat stanley fell on the ice at rockefeller center and well his 2 dimensional ass did get chopped up