SPIDER-GOOSE

one genre of fanfiction that seems to have mostly disappeared since i became an adult is shenanigans-type fics. like not exactly crack but just "the gang goes to 7-11" type, extremely low-stakes plot stories. the beach episodes of fanfiction. i just feel like i don't see those around so much anymore. whered they go. i miss them :(

I avoid heights and it’s not because I’m afraid of heights, it’s actually the opposite. The call of the void gets a little too loud.

The “cis is a slur” shit is so funny because you know the people who say that are using transphobic slurs in every other sentence and assuming that cis is derogatory because all of the terms they use for trans people are so the terms transgender people use to refer to their identity must be demeaning too. It’s not but if they do invent a slur against cisgender people, I will be using it. Fuck off, default settings.

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

When the average heterosexual family man complains about his family not respecting him, it is almost always because there is absolutely nothing about him to respect and he has made no effort to connect with any of them and he considers the slightest pushback or lack of affection a sign of ‘disrespect’. When the average heterosexual family woman complains about her family not respecting her, it’s usually because her 14 year old son keeps calling her a bitch and throwing things at her while her husband laughs. The difference is so fucking stark.

June is also men’s mental health month so I’d like to drop in and say that mine is not so good. It’s also Pride Month so I’m going to be treating the problem with yaoi.

I love when people ask "how did you learn this skill?" I just started, there's no secret. that's it. a vast majority of the time the only thing holding you back is your trepidation to start.

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

Imagine going on a movie date with a girl and she shows up to the movie theatre with a big huge fuckoff suspiciously large purse so you assume she’s maybe sneaking in snacks but the movie starts and you look over and she’s in the middle of a knitting project. She gets up halfway through the film to use the bathroom and accidentally knocks over her bag and balls of yarn go rolling down the aisle in the empty movie theatre like tumbleweeds and you have to go running after them. I think I’d marry her.

Being physically strong does kinda mess with your head when you have health problems I think. Like you know that logically your muscle mass isn’t gonna stop you from having a sleep disorder or asthma or whatever but when it happens anyways you’re like damn life really doesn’t work like comic books huh? Frankly I am disappointed.

So apparently the Mac and cheese you can manufacture in your settlements in fallout 4 has no radiation and heals just as much as purified water for a fifth of the carry weight so anyways I’ve set up a pasta farm so I can run through the wasteland crunching down on uncooked Mac and cheese so fast that nothing can kill me

Squatters' rights apply to grandmas. If someone's not visiting and looking after their grandma, but you will, after a set amount of time once you've settled in, that's your grandma now.