hello little gay people who live in my phone

when you’re checking the news and it’s gut punch after gut punch, ‘we are so beyond fucked’ type stuff and then there is an article about a truck spilling 2 tons of squid on the road in Rhode Island and you’re like “damn that’s crazy”

“I don’t know if I will ever see peace in my lifetime. I am so scared for the future and so angry at the present. I weep for humanity- 2 TONS? OF SQUID?”

This is why I get all my news from Tumblr, The Daily Show, and John Oliver.

Don’t. I have been spreading misinformation. It was actually 20 tons of squid. Not 2 tons. 40,000 pounds of squid. Astronomical unfathomable amount of squid.

yo get off your ass i need you to come up front and call a customer the f slur for me i cant reclaim it

Cross my heart and rub my tummy, lick my lips and eat a yummy

everybody wants to rule the world

Leopard Seals are what happens when god needs a lizard and all he has is a mammal

I'd recommend turning the sound on. The seal is not screaming. It's not very loud at all, actually, but the noise it's making is Much Worse.

that is a dinosaur

Not to be a drooling socialist cuck, but if a full day's labour can't purchase three square meals, 24 hour's worth of rent and utilities, a fraction of a month's clothing budget, and a reasonable portion to be saved for when you can no longer comfortably work, what the fuck are we doing shit for

Hello white artist. In front of you is a piece of paper and a container containing every color and utensil you'd ever need to make a drawing. In order to leave the room and keep the container, you must complete the task. Your task? Draw a Black character without giving them straight hair, eurocentric facial features, gray skin, skin lighter than a paper bag, palms that are the same color as the rest of their skin, unrealistic eye color(s), donut lips, a red/pink blush, or pink nipples. If you fail to complete the task, you will be mauled to death by a pack of painted dogs. There is no time limit, but if you moan about how it's too hard to draw Black characters, it will automatically trigger the dogs to be released. Good luck.

shouting “DERIVATIVE!” at an art school kid just walking down the street from a moving vehicle, they break down and sob

Hey man. Not my mountain not my eagle not my liver. Not my problem