hello little gay people who live in my phone

I have been in multiple situations where a friend group I'm not so familiar with starts making jokes about being into weirdo pervert stuff and there is a slight edge of competition to who is The Most Freakish I know for a goddamn fact that I have everyone beat in the pervert department but I can't say anything because they're probably just talking about light BDSM at most and I like things that are complete social suicide in 90% of spaces

like oh when you like puppyplay and choking its subversive and edgy but when I talk about getting my sexual awakening at 8 years old from the really fucking weird plant vore sequence in the third ice age movie it's WEIRD and EMBARRASSING i see how it is,

oh so this post stops getting notes when I make that addition, i see how it is,

You’ve heard of “i didn’t say it was good, i said i liked it,” get ready for “i said it had some technical problems & didn’t fully deliver on its themes, not that i didn’t like it”

"on god's green earth" is way too fun to say even when you don't believe in god and know most of it is blue, actually

I bet raising your arm and summoning a weapon for you to grasp feels good as fuck

probably speaks to something unwell in the collective tumblr psyche that those absurdly bleak bad luck brian memes are the only survivors of, like, an entire genre of different advice animal image macros.

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

i think we should start taking beloved archetypes for male characters and using them to make female characters. this woman is an asshole with a heart of gold. this woman is a loveable goofball. this woman is a cool but scarred lone wolf who just wants to protect people. this woman is a badass con artist who is always seen wearing an immaculate suit. this woman is a dilf

"he would not fucking say that" but its about a character being a leftist. he would not fucking believe that

media literacy is knowing when a character would say "i dont vote. why are you bringing politics into this?" no matter how mad it makes you to hear somebody irl say the same thing

This goes for a good amount of the characters who are complained about "oh no they were a cop in the timeskip", a lot of the time they wouldn't have an issue with being a cop and it is perfectly in character.

The number of people who go like 'my beloved war criminal blorbo!' but then act like you poured a drink on them if you suggest they'd be a Republican is honestly pretty funny.