hello little gay people who live in my phone

The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were

‎

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

similarly to how you can say "penis" or "vagina" instead of "male/female genitals" you can also say "testosterone/estrogen dominant endocrine system" instead of "male/female endocrine system" wow. amazing, we don't have to misgender trans ppl who aren't going to or haven't yet medically transitioned when we refer to hormones its just that easy

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

rapidly unsheathes my katana and you immediately get a phone call from your wife asking for a divorce