king of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach

just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said “young lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.” what an electrifying way of speaking…

My pet milkfly

I think im becoming a milkfly

Im starting to feel just like a milkfly

when you have a hammer everything looks like a guy you could kill with a hammer

Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice

[suddenly disillusioned] my illusions..

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

catholic guilt vs protestant belief in your own inherent superiority, fight

wait no I just remembered a few hundred years of history I take this post back

climb on my back brother. stow your goods in my baskets. i'm headed this way anyway. just trying to get this carrot, you see. although it has eluded me

where do people get energy from