HADESTOWN is GOOD

Because children rely entirely upon adults for survival, they usually cannot allow themselves to see that important adults are distorted or defensive. They simply assume that adults are correct. This is a primitive emotional safeguard. The emotional logic here is this: if my caregiver is wrong, I am unsafe; but if I am wrong about myself, I can be fixed, forgiven and even loved. In this context, the child pursues the only workable option: turning the adult's projection inward.

image two:

This inner badness is not just a marker of pathology; it is, in a way, a creative solution that allows the child to carry on. For the child, casting oneself as the source of the adult's reactions is safer than seeing the adult as unreliable or frightening. If I'm the problem, then I can adapt. But if the adult is the problem, I have no power and am in a fraught situation. In this context, the child chooses the reality in which agency, however painful it may be, remains a possibility. Young-Bruehl observes that children instinctively protect their caregivers from recognition of harm, instead carrying the blame to sustain the story, however illusory it is, of love and safety.

Case in point: Tsun Zu's rival defended a city with 10 men against Tsun's army of hundreds by disarming his own soldiers, dressing them in plain clothes, INVITING Tsun's army to come in, and it only worked because Tsun knew the guy was an ambush master and thought "if we attack the city he's inviting us into, we will die." and left without even trying ON THE BASIS OF HIS RIVAL'S REPUTATION AND NOTHING MORE

Another example: Tsun Zu, on being told his soliders were out of arrows during a battle against a city across a river from them, had his men craft scarecrows, put them on a boat, send it out on a line, leave it there for half an hour, then pull it back in and used the arrows the enemy had fired at the boat to restock their own ammunition. It only worked because it was foggy and the enemy couldn't tell the difference between the scarecrows and actual soldiers.

Here’s a transitioning starter pack for all my trans folk out there! 

Transfeminine resources:

Presentation:

Tucking

Chest area

Voice

Broad shoulders tips

Hair removal

Feminine walk

Curves

Waist training

Growing out your hair

Clothing

Makeup

Passing

Medical transitioning:

Not medically transitioning

Fertility

Puberty blockers

Estrogen & anti-androgens/testosterone blockers FAQ

The types of surgery available

Surgery: A guide for transfeminine people

Pumping (Silicone injections)

Facial Feminization Options

Breast Augmentation

Other:

Representation

Transfeminine period dysphoria

Yes, Transfeminine People Can Get Period Symptoms

Slipping into masculinity

Women’s restroom etiquette

Transfeminine people can breastfeed

Having sex or masturbating

Transmasculine resources:

Presentation:

Binding FAQ

Clothing

Facial hair

Masculine makeup

Getting short hair / Masculine long hair

If you can’t start T

Lowering your voice

Packing and standing to pee

Passing as male

Not shaving legs

Medical transitioning:

Not medically transitioning

Fertility

Puberty blockers

Testosterone FAQ

Top surgery

Facial masculinization surgery

Body masculinization surgery

Hysterectomy and oophorectomy

Bottom surgery (genital surgery)

Other:

Periods and related things

Help! I need to see a gyno

Pumping

Masturbation and sex

Using the men’s bathroom

Hudson’s FTM Guide

Height dysphoria

Hip dysphoria

More resources:

What gender am I? A brief intro to questioning

Trans 101 for trans people

What is the transgender umbrella?

How do I choose a name?

How do I come out at work/school or to family/friends?

Dysphoria info and tips page

Mental health coping page

Being trans in school

Non-binary resources

Resources to send allies/friends

A page to send to parents/guardians

Convincing someone to respect name/pronouns 

Here is how to get hormones in the US

Here is how to get hormones in the UK

The NHS’s Guide For Young Trans People in England

Here’s a US resource with info on changing legally changing your name and gender marker 

Here is a UK resource with info on changing legally changing your name and gender marker

What are the WPATH-SOC guidelines?

How to save money

How to buy a trans-related item online without parents knowing

I have to go swimming, what do I wear/do?

Trying to sleep when you have dysphoria

Airposts and traveling by plane

Gender neutral bathrooms

Getting insurance to cover your transition

Does transitioning help mental health?

Trans teen’s experiences with inpatient hospitalization

Trans identity isn’t a mental disorder

Vaping prevalence

Being religious and LGBT

Transgender Lives: Your Stories (to see trans adults) 

Gender neutral pronouns in Spanish

Gender Variance Around the World Over Time

A map of gender-diverse cultures

American LGBT history by the National Parks Service

Crisis help: Suicide and crisis hotlines

Please reblog to spread it! 

Also if you have more specific questions regarding the above and fitness, @thenonbinraywarrior is a great blog to check out! 

Case in point: Tsun Zu's rival defended a city with 10 men against Tsun's army of hundreds by disarming his own soldiers, dressing them in plain clothes, INVITING Tsun's army to come in, and it only worked because Tsun knew the guy was an ambush master and thought "if we attack the city he's inviting us into, we will die." and left without even trying ON THE BASIS OF HIS RIVAL'S REPUTATION AND NOTHING MORE

Another example: Tsun Zu, on being told his soliders were out of arrows during a battle against a city across a river from them, had his men craft scarecrows, put them on a boat, send it out on a line, leave it there for half an hour, then pull it back in and used the arrows the enemy had fired at the boat to restock their own ammunition. It only worked because it was foggy and the enemy couldn't tell the difference between the scarecrows and actual soldiers.

I got a commission of Shay's gala look from chapter 3 of Awaking in Gotham for the AMAZINGLY TALENTED @tallnquirky ! When I tell you that it's been TWO YEARS since I wanted to ask her to do this piece and I finally shuffled my budget to do it! It's even better that I expected! I also asked for a print that I hung up on my wall 💖