No Idea What I'm Doing

when all was right with the world.

ozai’s ready to conquer the world—nine years earlier than planned, nine years before sozin’s comet was set to arrive.

…

what he did not expect was that the one thing standing in his way of success was his eldest son—in the body of a five-year old.

Ozai: I suggest we send Prince Zuko with the 37th battalion to fight against the Earth rebels.

War General, very concerned: Prince Zuko is a five-year old.

Zuko: I have no idea who posted those wanted posters of my father

Zuko: Nor do I have any idea who keeps harassing him with rotten food

Zuko: And who chooped off his goatee

Zuko, after an hour of low-key arguing with Ozai: I apologize for cutting you off, Father.

Zuko: But can you speak louder?

@aboutiroh this is a beautiful addition. I present this:

Hakoda wasn’t sure what he expected when another Fire Nation ship came into view just seconds after the soldiers stormed down the first one.

“Shit,” he hears Bato mutter behind him.

Hakoda echoed the sentiment albeit silently. Their chances were looking way too grim. He grips his spear tighter. He could only hope Kya, their children, and the rest of tribe could escape safely and make it out alive.

Just as he was about to signal his men to charge, a white flag from the second ship was raised into the air, almost frantically.

Was this the Fire Nation’s new tactic? Hakoda wondered. Lulling their enemies into a false sense of security before ambushing them with greater numbers. He wasn’t going to fall for that. It doesn’t diminish their greater numbers though. The Fire Nation soldiers, loathe he is to admit it, could overpower them at this very moment already, except—

A visible tide of confusion rippled through the first wave of Fire Nation soldiers. They fall back. But not before Hakoda catches whiff of the words, “Dragon of the West”.

Ice washes over Hakoda. It was worse than he thought. He can already see his men hesistating, the younger ones shaking, in his peripheral.

He signals them to wait. Rushing would do them no good. He needed to see the number of men on board before changing strategies.

The hunk of metal docked, creaking grimly before the ramp lowered and hit the ice with a loud thud.

Hakoda blinked.

What came out was a child—likely around Sokka’s age—waving a white flag obviously too big for his body to carry.

The child, seeing that everyone was too stunned to react and attack, gave them a practiced, dimplomatic smile.

- The Gaang is all 10 years younger, except Aang who is still 12. 

- Zuko shows up at the SWT and goes “Chief Hakoda I know this sounds confusing but I need your children to stop my douchebag father and end this war”

- He finds Aang in that iceberg to prove his point “See, I even got the Avatar for you, now can I pleeeaaaase go travel the world with Sokka and Katara” 

- Aang is very confused too but he just rolls with it

- Azula contemplates whether she should continue to try and impress her dad or go with Zuko. She goes with Zuko. 

- Iroh hasn’t started his Siege of Ba Sing Se yet. He’s not post-redemption Iroh, but he’s got it in him somewhere and tiny Zuko awakens it. 

- While they’re traveling on Appa, Zuko sees Toph and goes “WAIT we have to abduct that blind baby playing with the badgermoles” 

- at this point nobody questions him anymore and they get baby Toph on board. She’s two and somehow still the most badass among all of them. 

- Rumors of children being randomly abducted spread like wildfire.

- More so after a child from Kiyoshi Island, despite being neutral to the war, was stolen.

- With the knowledge that the Avatar has, in fact, reappeared, people conclude that the Avatar is a kidnapper.

- After kidnapping Toph, Zuko presents her to Aang saying, “This is you earthbending master.”

- Aang is hesistant. But then he sees baby Toph bend metal (“Uh, Zuko, I don’t think you should buy metal baby toys” “Trust me, Aang. I know what I’m doing”<<He does this because adult!Toph once said that plastic and wooden baby toys were for the weak) and he’s immediately sold.

- Nobody outside the gaang is sure whether or not Aang’s serious about calling a two-year old sifu. Said two year old cackles everytime she’s addressed that way.

- Sokka develops a childhood crush on Suki and bullies her in response. He stops when Suki beats his ass and gives him a stern talk.

- Sokka begins following Suki like a lost puppy.

- Katara first learns waterbending from the swampbenders when Zuko took them on a detour.

- Zuko sends Azula and Ursa letters every now and then, updating them about important stuff. (Dear mother, I am now travelling with a two-year old. Best wishes, Zuko)

- Ursa travels away from the Fire Nation in search of Zuko after Azula ran over to her and began bawling about Zuzu replacing her as his sister.

- Cue mother-daughter bonding as they travel around the Earth Kingdom in disguises in search of Zuko and his gaggle of toddlers. (Azula basks in the attention from her mother that she’s always yearned for.)

- Ursa bumps into Kya and Hakoda and team up. They exchange stories and they all agree that there needs to be a change in Firelord.

- Kya gives Azula candy, Hakoda teaches Azula how to defend herself with a knife, Ursa guides her through firebending katas. Needless to say, Azula is showered in actual love and is happy.

- Team Actually-Trying-To-Be-Good-Parents reunites with the gaang and after a bit of scolding and a fair share of fretting have dinner like one big family.

- To Sokka’s horror, Azula gets along very well with Momo. Azula also proceeds to teach Katara how to fight with a knife.

- Meanwhile, Iroh is travelling the world with Lu Ten after Ozai’s obvious assasination of the late Firelord Azulon. Together, they go through multiple spiritual hijinks, uncover lost civilizations, find themselves embroiled in conspiracies about cabbages, and discover the order of the white lotus.

- Zuko and Iroh’s letter exchanges are wild.

Okay but does Lu Ten end up as Firelord or do they just plop literal gremlin child Zuko on the throne and give him baby Firelord robes

Zuko, a 7-year old: I will ascend the throne.

Everyone: CHILD NO.

The tiny monster’s feet aren’t even touching the ground from where he sits on the throne, but he is nonetheless happily debunking the merits of class-specific household registration and demanding cuts be made to the military budget and when did he even learn those words?!

Lu Ten, of course, is delighted to be his little cousin’s advisor, because from up here he gets to see all the fantastic faces that the royal councillors make when their tiny Firelord talks about things like “our public schooling system is frankly atrocious, Minister Seng, and I will no longer stand idly by while our youth is fed propaganda; here, I’ve put together an overview of the new curriculum, you and the Cabinet of Education are to refine and implement this, effective immediately.”

he baby i love him

He was never on the battlefield himself until the very end of the series. Two of his greatest victories, Omashu and Ba Sing Se, were both carried out by other people, namely Azula. Even if he was able to read detailed reports about what happened, I doubt he would actually remember anything, especially since details can easily get lost.

Even the coup of his father was ultimately done by Ursa.

Sure, he knows that Avatar is a threat and probably is striving to capture him before he can take away his bending again, but he can't actually do anything until his father is off the throne, and he might not even be able to do so if Ursa is off hunting down Zuko, at least not without someone pointing fingers.

Masterlist ✨✨✨

Start here! :

The Origin

The rest ! :

(X means unfinished)

(All of these are connected but can be read as stand alone)

Meeting the phantomily:

Crack meeting the batfam :

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5 the final!

Hide @ dick’s apartment :

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5 the final!!

You can’t bench me! :

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5| Part 6| Part 7| Part 8 the final!!

ice cream| intermission | bonus

The Batburger saga : X

Part 1 | Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5| Part 6

Asks:

(Ask are always open!)

Fav DPxDC trope?

ships in the AU?

First hug?

You might also like!:

Good goons!

timeloop

whodunit

musical

beach trip

random genre change (especially if it's to a noir detective thing)

one where they get randomly meta and fourth wall breaky but then never acknowledge it again

I told you guys! bring in a forklift and it will be easy sailing!

Inspired by an earlier post-and a thankyou for all the love on it

Dogday ported by MG off Sketchfab

background ported/made by TOYWAR off sketchfab

Catnap ported by KPMISparrot off Sketchfab

And forklift by Ricardo sanchez

After perfecting his portal creation technique, Danny ended up developing a habit of exploring other dimensions and making friends with various other supernatural and/or hero children and teens. He regularly organizes meet ups so all of his friends at least know each other.

Eventually, Danny decides they need a place to hold their hangouts outside of the Ghost Zone, mainly because it's a bit dangerous and he doesn't want anyone becoming a resident any time soon. But no one really wants to have it in their own worlds, if just to avoid raising any questions on where they suddenly gained a sudden extra friend group, especially since not everyone is exactly open about their supernatural and/or heroic sides of their lives. So, Danny finds a different world where having such traits isn't uncommon and they can hopefully get away with hanging out.

He finds what appears to be the perfect world. There's people with powers so they won't be questioned if they accidentally do something inhuman and they have heroes to deal with any threats. Danny even managed to find a corrupt billionaire that Tucker managed to hack, swiping a couple thousand from his personal account for them to use. So, the group decides to hold their regular hangouts there. Sure, they occasionally get involved when various rogues decide to interrupt them, but what's the harm?

(no Bnha though. That has... something going on idk)

Crossovers everywhere! Crossover galore!

Peter and the other spiders somehow manage to befriend Killer Croc, (spidery spiders my beloved), Tommyinnit is constantly mistaken for Ivy and Harleys son, Gregory is destroying robots left and right and Micheal is just. so tired. this poor guy.

Marinette is having a crisis at how bad the costumes are, Adrien is having the time of his life with making god awful puns with the Spidey's. Percy makes Atlantis nearly have a civil war because hello son of poseidon over here. Will solace is being constantly mistaken for a kryptonian because oh hey your source of power is the sun? Mine too!

Frisk is a bit overwhelmed by how many *CHECKS they do and how these people have powers but are also human? But they also understand ASL and are very nice, so they aren't complaining.

Jazz has the braincell, as always, and she and Micheal end up as pretty good friends as the 'Adults' TM

People clock Marinette as Wayne Adoption Bait due to her black hair, blue eyes, and taking on way more responsibility than a child should.

Marinette then gives Batman a twenty minute speech/sales pitch about why Adrien is clearly the one who needs to be adopted.

I can also see her being like, I also have two very much alive and loving parents. But ADRIEN however-

Percy Jackson also declines bc his mom is Sally the mother fucking Jackson, and also poseidon is here. Nico hisses like a feral cat and Thalia is like. No.

Danny and Elle also steadily decline bc of Vlad. The Spidey's are too traumatized from having enough dead parents and parental figures to fill a cemetery to even consider it.

Gregory just bites him (Jason called Dibs at that) and Micheal is like 'thanks for the offer but I have my uncle Henry and also I am a rotting corpse'

After perfecting his portal creation technique, Danny ended up developing a habit of exploring other dimensions and making friends with various other supernatural and/or hero children and teens. He regularly organizes meet ups so all of his friends at least know each other.

Eventually, Danny decides they need a place to hold their hangouts outside of the Ghost Zone, mainly because it's a bit dangerous and he doesn't want anyone becoming a resident any time soon. But no one really wants to have it in their own worlds, if just to avoid raising any questions on where they suddenly gained a sudden extra friend group, especially since not everyone is exactly open about their supernatural and/or heroic sides of their lives. So, Danny finds a different world where having such traits isn't uncommon and they can hopefully get away with hanging out.

He finds what appears to be the perfect world. There's people with powers so they won't be questioned if they accidentally do something inhuman and they have heroes to deal with any threats. Danny even managed to find a corrupt billionaire that Tucker managed to hack, swiping a couple thousand from his personal account for them to use. So, the group decides to hold their regular hangouts there. Sure, they occasionally get involved when various rogues decide to interrupt them, but what's the harm?

(no Bnha though. That has... something going on idk)

Crossovers everywhere! Crossover galore!

Peter and the other spiders somehow manage to befriend Killer Croc, (spidery spiders my beloved), Tommyinnit is constantly mistaken for Ivy and Harleys son, Gregory is destroying robots left and right and Micheal is just. so tired. this poor guy.

Marinette is having a crisis at how bad the costumes are, Adrien is having the time of his life with making god awful puns with the Spidey's. Percy makes Atlantis nearly have a civil war because hello son of poseidon over here. Will solace is being constantly mistaken for a kryptonian because oh hey your source of power is the sun? Mine too!

Frisk is a bit overwhelmed by how many *CHECKS they do and how these people have powers but are also human? But they also understand ASL and are very nice, so they aren't complaining.

Jazz has the braincell, as always, and she and Micheal end up as pretty good friends as the 'Adults' TM

People clock Marinette as Wayne Adoption Bait due to her black hair, blue eyes, and taking on way more responsibility than a child should.

Marinette then gives Batman a twenty minute speech/sales pitch about why Adrien is clearly the one who needs to be adopted.

The Bat family and Talia was on a mission. Ra's had captured a ghost and was using them to steal information and carry out assassinations.

Before Bruce could call in Zatanna or Constantine, Talia told him she has a contact who is more specialised in ghosts. So Bruce, Damien, Jason and Talia all went to Amity Park.

Danny wasn't expecting his ex-girlfriend (who he hasn't seen in years) knocking at his door along with her family. But he didn't mind the break up was amicable. So when she told him she needed help dealing with a ghost he was happy to help.

While he was getting the gear ready for her, her two sons Jason and Damien was standing around asking him questions (interrogating him). Of course the question of how he knew their mother came up. So he told them the truth. They were both surprised and Damien seemed to be angry at him for it. Then Jason asked why he would help her out if they hadn't seen each other for years.

It was simple really she was his favourite ex. When he saw how confused they were he told them she has that title because she was the only one of his ex to have never tried to kill him before during or after their relationship.

The relationship happened shortly after her first breakup with Bruce, but before the hookup that resulted in Damian.

If Danny’s type is "women who could kill him," Talia's is "men who are nigh incorruptible paragons."

(I'm not playing with bad dad Bruce or hero by technicality Batman)

Talia was traveling on the ground and ended up "lost" in Amity Park. To add insult to injury none of the mechanics had openings to repair her car.

Someone suggested she should talk to Danny at the Boo Brews café as he was good with his hands and always willing to help.

There relationship proceeded much like a hallmark movie with the addition of assassins and ghosts.

Talia had met a being that was more than her match, and did not gloat. One who saw her as a woman and not a weapon or an ideological debate.

She had learned the hard way that Bruce’s interest was centered on trying to fix her. Danny accepted her as she was and didn't think there was any part of her that needed to be fixed.

Unlike Bruce, Danny wasn’t going to force her to change her beliefs and abandon her father and the League. And that is exactly why she had to let him go.

Danny was everything her Father pretended to be. He was strong and powerful with all the blessings of Lazarus heaped upon him. As Ghost King, he possessed all the power Ra's had ever dreamt of. But despite his power, he was content with his humble life as a tradesmen.

That is something Ra's would never be able to comprehend.

If her father discovered Danny and the strange, shifting city he called home he would never stop trying to conquer them.

Get rid of Ra's Al Ghul.

I can just imagine these two stories cutting back and forth, like someone watching a TV but can't decide which movie to watch.

In the end, Jason and Damian walk back into Danny's coffee shop, each carrying a duffle bag full of assassins' heads and a smoothie.