norman’s on sabbatical honey

Tollymore Forest Park

Rocky mate bad as hell! Statement

Because one time the professor I was interning for got punched in the face by another professor, because mine got the funding, and told the other professor his theory was stupid.

This same professor told me to throw rocks to scare the “stupid fucking crabs” into moving so we could count them properly.

Two professors hiding around a corner and snickering, “Shhh, here she comes!” While a female professor approached and, when she finally found them, she proceeded to scream while pointing from one to the other, “You! I called your office but you weren’t there! So I tried to call YOUR office to figure out where HE was but YOU weren’t there!”

Two grad students standing outside a closed and locked door yelling, “Come out of the damn office. You haven’t left for days. If you didn’t have a couch in there I’d be concerned as to where you were sleeping!”

A religious studies professor apologizing for being late to class because, “security stopped me because I’m dressed like a hobbit”

Watched a professor snort the results of my experiment to determine if I had the right final compound.

Two archeology professors toss priceless fossilized teeth back and forth in an attempt to figure out who is smarter by “guessing the type of tooth and species of animal before it lands”

Multiple fully degreed individuals throw dry ice at one another in an attempt to be first to use the lab/get that piece of equipment/or change the iPod song.

A genetics professor build furniture out of stacks of paper and planks of wood because she is that far behind in grading papers/responding. One of the impromptu furniture pieces housed a fish tank.

- Same professor hung a bat from her headlamp and wore it as a decoration for an entire night. 

- A whole swarm of older women - and these are women with PhDs and world-renown bat experts, the bigwigs - all, to a woman, go to the formal charity dinner at an international research symposium in Toronto in late October dressed in skimpy Batgirl costumes. Because Halloween was that weekend, you see.

- At a different conference, a professor get blackout drunk and pass out on the side of the road. 

- “Yeah, we have to say we did it properly for the grant but to be really honest, Miracle-gro works better.”

- The phrase “Do not climb on the telescope you assholes” embroidered and hung in the observatory because of an ‘incident’.

- Geology professor has this nifty skill of being able to tell rock types by licking them.

- We managed to fit an entire student into a weather balloon once.

give me pointers on how to

sneak into a bar.

Had another field lab where we were all going out to profile a stream, and our professor was really hyping up a piece of depth-finding equipment we would get to use. The words “on loan from NASA” were tossed around. It ended up being a rock tied to a hammer with a very long length of twine.

In contrast with the above, had another field lab where we were taking measurements with a gravimeter, and the professor only told is how much it was worth (50k) after we had hauled it out of the trunk of his car and lugged it up the hill.

Had a professor bring an entire whiteboard on a 2 hour hike so he could plunk it down and lecture us at each stop we were taking notes at.