scurvy

americans be like i’m looking at myself in the meer

americans be like im gonna eat an ornge

americans see a tree rodent and go 'look a skwurl'

americans be like couldj gemmie a glass uv waddr

I really wish this was how Brits responded to jokes

This is so fucking cursed

I love them

This dumb ass bitch shouldn’t be a mom.

first of all how dare you

(clears my throat and stands at a podium) cock

Banishment is the funniest punishment I can think of. Just get out of here

rah rah rasputin something something sour cream

He was a cat that smoked a whole bong

came up with a new catchphrase today: “that really wets my pussy” (for when I think smth is cool and dope). ok guys lemme know what u think!

I’ve literally never had interest in Resident Evil in my life until I learned there is an 8 foot tall large breasted vampire woman in it

Based on her size and gray skin color, she’s likely what’s known as a Tyrant in Resident Evil, they’re a sort of... a super-zombie, capable of incredible strength and resilience. Earlier models such as Mr. X were... somewhat limited in their ability to look, think and act human. She’s very clearly a much more advanced than her predecessors. Fun fact: She can likely shrug off tank gun fire, and even if you managed to hit her with enough ordinance to put her down, she’d probably be back up after a few minutes of regeneration.

I will never find out how much tank gun fire she can take because I’ll be only pressing the kiss button

 this is it..where i hold the Meetings..

Why did bookstore liberals have a trend a few years back where they were obsessed with corgi butts and cat assholes

Have you ever seen a corgi butt, tho?

Yeah it's a dog's ass