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To love someone it will be the most painful/beautiful experience you will encounter. Your love will help you two grow so you can live happily together. It should be noted that not every relationship is perfect. There are going to be arguments, heartache, and crying. I like to think that all of those obstacles you encounter will make the love grow stronger. Each individual will open up their deep emotions towards each other. When one becomes aware of their deep emotion and if they do not know how to react to it. They will think how to give their partner the love that they deserve. Mostly because they feel unworthy of their love. A partner who struggles with their feelings does not know how to process their emotions. There could be attachment issues such as; anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful avoidant. There could also be a lack of emotional regulation. This is where self-sabotage comes in. Self-sabotage ruins it! That person runs away from their partner. They will distance themself. Self-sabotage tends to happen in most relationships without intending to. Nobody has the intention to self-sabotage. That comes out of fear within our own self. You allow fear to control you. You become so fearful of the worst case scenario we get fixated by the idea of assumptions. You react out of fear. Reacting out of emotional fear does not get you anywhere but hurt. You know the saying ‘hurt people hurt people’. You hurt your partner so they can feel the same pain as you but your partner is hurting the same or worse than you are. Comprehension should be the new communication. You can communicate all you want to your partner but if they are not allowing themself to understand you, it is useless. Everyone wants a fairytale love story that are mostly seen in the movies. That is not realistic unfortunately... Learn to be okay with the obstacles that will come in a relationship. MOST IMPORTANTLY, learn to heal your wounds first! For this reason, you won’t be hurting your partner. Stop the self-sabotage by healing yourself! You are not only hurting yourself but someone you deeply love also. Do not push your person away. If it is toxic, then of course leave. If there is necessary healing of the inner child in you both and reparenting yourself then work it out together. Try to comprehend and communicate. Cherish moments forever especially the good. Learn from the hardships. Learn to let go of the past together! Hold each other close. Give each other love. Give each other appreciation you both deserve. Learn patience. Learn to let it flow. Stop letting fear get in the way of your happiness. If it is meant for you, it will always be for you. Create a healthy relationship for yourself. You deserve it.