gloomy files

Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?

Yellow

No it’s red because of his shirt

No, it’s yellow because he loves honey

You have no idea what you’re talking about

Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

don't infantilise yourself. you are not a child who needs an adult to make your decisions for you. you are a splendid and magnificent autocrat and you are consulting your trusted advisors. you are exercising great wisdom by inviting an expert to give their opinion before making your ruling. often the path of wisdom is to say "good morning, I'm trying to [perform task] and I have a question about [aspect], can you tell me who I should speak to for advice?" before you do it. sometimes the path of wisdom is to hire a plumber. there are times when you cannot do things for yourself but that doesn't mean you are not an adult. you don't need a grown-up. you need a specialist.

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

You must jerk off and cry to absolve all of your sin

boys like it when you imprison them in the ornate birdcage that hangs in the centre of your lair

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

Adding ROOTY TOOT TOOT to my bedroom talk repertoire

one of the biggest tragedies of early 2010s tumblr is that the devil (bbc sherlock) took root as the face of johnlock when the guy ritchie films were RIGHT there

"if you forgot then it obviously wasn't important to you" is an ableist thing to say and i'm tired of pretending it's not

I've forgotten *my own birthday* before. There are several years of my life just straight up missing. In the past I've forgotten silly little frivolous things like NAMES OF LOVED ONES or WHERE MY HOUSE IS. But obviously none of that was important. Fucking awful, ableist thing to say.

some of you need to realize that your faves would be having unsafe bdsm sex because they don’t actually know what bdsm sex is, they just want to fuck and also kill each other. you must understand this.

you don’t have to write safe practices and contract agreements. your audience knows not to apply any of this in their real lives, sasuke doesn’t know what a safe word is im begging you please write the toxic yaoi

I am so tired of short-attention-span, trim-the-fat culture. All writing advice these days is for how to write like Chuck Palahniuk. "Cut 'think', cut 'feel', cut 'wonder' - only action, only pushing forward, show and move and move and move." What if I could emulate this style, and still don't want to? What if I want to write like Henry James, with three paragraphs of introspective musings between each dialogue line? The music advice is, "make it shortform, make it Tik-Tok compatible, make it punchy, hit the refrain as soon as possible." What if I want that 10-minute prog rock piece? What if I want that symphony? What if I want it slow and luxurious and lazy? Movies. Series. Poetry. Bodies. Everything is "trimmed trimmed trimmed trimmed, stripped bare, you have three seconds to win me over, make it airport chic." I don't want to win you over, then, I guess. I want the fat left it. I want the pleasure and the indolence and the indulgence. Fuck this art-advice that's always "your art needs Ozempic."