Glitch

They should make a content label for ai posts like they do for mature content so I dont ever have to fucking look at it

I like when little kids lie not to be malicious but because they’re literally figuring out how true/false conditions work. Like they learn to talk and then they’re like wait… I can just say ANY words, huh.

Sometimes when a child tells a “random” lie I just behave as if I accept their statement unequivocally and 9/10 times within five minutes they’re like “miss Study 🥺🥺🥺 I am so sorry. I lied to you. My dog ISN’T actually purple and older than my grandpa😔😔😔”

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me

parents will make u feel guilty about absurd shit like breathing too much air or smth. and it will work too like you'll be laying on the ground years later paralyzed by the guilt that you're breathing too much until someone grabs u by the shoulders and tells u that is fucking stupid. and then you'll need to remind yourself of that every day for the rest of your life to function

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

i know higgs’ cyborg pussy just goes absolutely insane. i know it does

this is the plot to mama mia

Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro

But imagine losing it all after your seasonal molt

hell is full. heaven is full. god created a new holding space for souls called hurgle and the only thibg to do here is this infinitely expading jigsaw puzzle of a finely detailed pigeon. we are just slowwwwwly creating little tufts of feathers for eternity . yesterday , greg found a corner piece