Snark Master.

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

it would be so nice if you were allowed to start working on projects before you hit the 12 hour until deadline mark but sadly it’s not possible with our current technology. scientists are hard at work but for now this is one of the limitations we must face as a people

blue raspberry is fucked up cause it doesn't make sense but then u taste it and it Does taste like if a raspberry was blue

i’m burning the candle at ends you’ve never heard of

ugh. forget everything i’ve ever said. unless you thought it was smart or funny in which case remember it forever