't is wat in 't leven

In your 20s, you'll feel like you're losing the race. It's important to understand that there is no race.

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

(guy who doesnt take care of themselves in any way whatsoever) why do i feel so bad

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

We have so little time

let's waste as much of it as we can while we still can

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really makes a difference if you even care.

craziest thing in the world is how many restaurants have started not including fries or any side whatsoever with their burgers meanwhile the burgers cost the downpayment on a new car. you want $19 for a fucking sandwich and you aint gonna give me even a scoop of coleslaw on the side? you’ve truly lost your fucking mind. i’m filing a class action lawsuit atp

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)