everything is fine.

not just any MP, but an undersecretary for migration and citizenship. this guy is one of the MPs that has a direct hand on the genuinely horrific treatment of migrants and refugees in the UK, including shipping them off to the UK's former colony after unilaterally declaring the colony to be safe, as well as stripping the migrant and refugees of their heirlooms in the name of "paying for their migration in the UK with their own assets." Starmer's cabinet is filled with people whose bloodsoaked hands will never wash out like these.

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

those are his hooves you bitch

12 years of those are his hooves you bitch

i have tested positive for tzatziki

$ 1,806 / 2,900

$ 1,886 / 2,900

$ 2,056 / 2,900

$ 2,076 / 2,900

hi sorry we never fully met this goal and the headphones i use for work just broke

you can stay indoors all day when the sun is out, and sometimes it's nice like a cool draught from a tranquil spring, but watch out because if you stay indoors for two days in a row while the sun is out you start doing odd gothic literature things, stalking the halls and passages and muttering to yourself and parting the blinds to gaze down at your neighbours with a haunted look before turning away to contemplate your mannequins #yourmannequins. three days and you're basically fucked. you have to throw a towel over your head to scurry as far as the store for milk and people jeer at you like frankenstein's monster.

A girl can be a handsome fella. This is obvious

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

⁉️ happy pride month turns out I Saw The TV Glow is free to watch on youtube and has been for at least three months now and i did not know until just now

i need to get gender affirming surgery

Also free on tubi currently (6/16/26) in the USA

bagels for breakfast bagels for lunch toasting them good so they have a nice crunch. bagels in the morning bagel in the afternoon bagel big and round got me howling at the moon