everything is fine.

just got a job at PEMDAS as an Exponent

The popularity of the "incompetent stupid piece of shit husband and competent wife who loves him anyways" trope in media is a psyop to make women believe its normal to settle for an incompetent stupid piece of shit husband

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

#'i noticed you didnt tip-'#'no no no no NO I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING A NICE DASHHHH I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING A NICE DASHHHHH!!!!' (via @klapollo)

Everything is embarrassing if you live your life through the eyes of others btw

[Image ID: An image of the 'Rubbing Hands Emoji' meme with white text over it. The top text reads: "WHEN OUR FEW REMAINING FRIENDS GIVE UP ON TRYING TO SAVE US". The bottom text reads: "WHEN WE COME UP WITH A FAIL SAFE PLOT TO PISS OFF THE DUMB FREE WHO FORGAVE US". This is reference to lyrics of the song "No Children" by The Mountain Goats. /.End ID]

i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn

i will destroy Alex.

ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them 😅 so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!

If you use baby wipes go check them NOW. A lot of Burkholderia bugs are antibiotic resistant so infections can be really difficult to treat.

Beware The Bitches That Be like Dot Dot Dot Before They SAy Shit