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i wish i could reblog all the i hate sex posts because they’re terribly funny but unfortunately it’s just not true. i don’t hate sex. i’m literally thinking about it while i’m on the clock. on the clock? i wish i was on the. well. i shan’t say

tumblr version of "you sir have won the internet. have an updoot"

man come on

Trying to write sex scenes is so aggravating because honestly describing sex is pretty boring. It's mostly just people putting bits of themselves on or inside other people's bits so you run into a lot of "they walked to another room" type problems where you can get caught up in just describing where everyone's limbs and shit are. What really makes smut interesting and hot, in my opinion at least, is sensory description but that's also hard because you'll be sitting there trying to find a new way to say "they were feeling sexual pleasure and it felt pretty good". Then you also have to figure out how to write dialogue that doesn't sound completely ridiculous and hackneyed. Really makes you want to just write "they boned down real good and it was totally hot trust me, it was definitely the kind of thing you'd want to jerk your shit to," and have done with it.

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

siobhan has such a bisexual playing style but she always gets overshadowed by zac who accidentally backs himself into bisexuality season after season

Bisexual by birth v. Bisexual by curse

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

Thinking really hard about Ianthe. She convinced her one-sided lesbian situationship to give her a new arm after she got dismembered by a saint. She and her twin sister love to dip their toes into incest sometimes but not in ways you’d expect. She also uses her magic to make herself look sickly so her sister can breast boobily. She and Jesus might be fucking but neither of them probably enjoys it. She voluntarily wore a maid dress in a game show inside her own mind. I hate her. She’s awesome. What is wrong with her.

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

image of someone in jeans with the fly down and no panties but theyre bushless? do you hang empty picture frames on your walls? don't piss me off.

EVERYONE get in the tags rn and tell me your favorite cheese

you know those studies showing that cursing helps with pain tolerance or whatever. that’s how i feel about making my weird little noises to get through my basic daily activities. sometimes you just have to go hggblaaaah for a minute so you can find the strength within yourself to get up or wash the dishes or send an email. mmmnneh. urgh. the torments are unending but you can always make some little sounds about it.