jab.

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

Doctors are like: ughhhhh. You're confusing. Come back if you die

(eating a pill i found on the floor of the club bathroom) hope it's a placebo. i don't need any effects right now

omg if i was an oracle i would be LYYYYYINGGGG

I can smell the poison in my goblet but I lowkey don't even care anymore

one thing about me is that i will go on your blog and look around

one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines

I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

“Terf is a slur used to silence us” dang bitch I wish it worked shut the fuck up