drink milk & run

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

nope. funkytown again

come on

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

i also want to read this guy’s dead wife

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

watching the bus slowly make its way towards my stop like a blushing groom watching the bride walk down the aisle on his wedding day

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

lacing my blood with poison so when those mosquitoes try to drink from me theyll be in for a nasty surprise

huh. guys i feel a little funny

youre not nothingburger in fact you are everything bagel

youve been blinded by your disgusting quest for a chill time with 2-4 good friends

never watch the sodium intake!!!!! soup and chips forever!!!!

Knuckle tattoo that says %APP DATA

Hanging out with me and you keep getting annoyed cause you think I keep sighing loudly but it's actually wind rushing through my strangely hollow interior and I blow away

123movies & putlocker provide more for the people of this country than the army has ever

At least the army doesn’t take the money creators could have made. And is also not stealing anyone’s content. ^^

they kill people