( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

20-somethings on this website doing none of the things we’re evolved to do for our health and then wondering why they’re so depressed. (smacking you through the screen) GO EAT A LEAF!!!!!!!! GO CRACK A NUT OPEN WITH A ROCK YOU SAD TORMENTED LITTLE APE

i know this is easier said than done and i do not mean this judgementally but you have to start treating yourself like the animal you are in any small consistent way you can. like imagine you went to a zoo and you saw a gorilla sitting in front of blue screens for hours with no natural light no physical activity no interaction with peers no nutritious whole foods no fresh air no water and a pack of cigarettes. you would run screaming to the local news about the blatant animal abuse. you would be demanding boycotts you’d be sledgehammering locks off cages. do you get what i am saying please go squish your toes in mud

This this this! You're your own zookeeper so stop violating ethics boards

I want all animals to become sapient enough to produce art specifically because I want to see what sort of sex homunculus caricature each species would create if given the ability to draw

Like we've already got the anime waifu with the needle-waist and watermelon-bazonkas and borzoi-legs and bug-eyes. Now show me a fucked-up stupid beetle as drawn by a horny beetle. I want to see what a cartoonishly sexy lion looks like according to lions. I want to see the most ridiculous drawing of a peahen that would have the peacocks squaring up by the fountain.

We give this power to ostriches and they just start drawing people

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

fog haters are weak. you are walking in a cloud and it's making everything look like a moody detective film! the veil is thin and there could be a faerie 20 metres directly ahead of you! appreciate it!!

I am reliably informed literacy will improve your chances of finding a decent job, not to mention reading rental leases carefully and being able to research your rights as a tenant, both of which will significantly reduce your chances of ending up homeless. Not to mention being able to budget. Or being able to read between the lines on ads so you're more likely to work out you don't really need the thing and/or it's a scam.

and then when they find Saruman's pantry he's got fucking barrels of it for himself. Like, girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament

Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.

you know what? fuck it *reads the fanfic I spent hours writing for my own enjoyment*

if you’re not rereading your own 3yo one-shots every once in a while so you can shake your head at the ao3 tab and mutter god i’m fucking funny then what are we even doing all this work for?

the power of a bowl of rice mixed with some fucking bullshit cannot be overstated