*clueless guy in 2006 voice* that iPhone? What a piece of junk. People are never gonna use a phone without a keyboard. I wish there was a way I could be a girl

you must defeat my several exes which I refrain from passing moral judgment upon out of a place of empathy but whom definitely acted in ways that, although understandable within the context of their life and the forces they were subject to, inflicted a lot of deep wounds I did not deserve to delicate parts of myself which have not and may never heal. if you want in my boy hole, that is.

bro lemme show u how sex REALLY works *picks up large rock from forest ground*

*aborted bandmate voice* i would be touching you in a vaguely gay way onstage right now... if i existed

wiping my cheeto dust hands on your shirt. i want to build a beautiful life with you

I’m chained up in a basement and tortured + bleeding but I’m not an emaciated little twink so no one even cared enough to jack off to it

Secunit… it was a shot at you, and that’s why ART didn’t take it well

have such a weird set of symptoms right now.. my nose is blocked, im coughing a lot, and it physically Feels like i have a fever but temperature-wise im not really warm enough for that... but worst of all is the body pain, especially in my lower back and legs. it's making me crazy and im pretty sure it's related. what new hybrid virus is this