You could make a vent post about having no friends and it’ll blow up and people will start reblogging it just to say things in the tags like “#this would be me except I’m beloved in the community and every year all my awesome friends who would die for me come together and throw me a big surprise party because they adore me so deeply”

(Out of deodorant voice) maybe we should all be more accepting of the smells our bodies naturally produce

i think we'd all be better off if we all touched each other more because now we have chumps walking around thinking physical contact always has to mean something and by chumps i mean 90% of the world population

sometimes i get weirdly anxious about the fact that thousands of years of evolution have led to my specific bloodline and it will almost certainly be ending with me. but then i remember the same is true of like every fly that dies in a drink before it gets the chance to reproduce so like. who am i to get all precious about the concept of bloodlines really. who give a shit. my ancestors arent any better than that flys ancestors.

Let’s fucking go

*clueless guy in 2006 voice* that iPhone? What a piece of junk. People are never gonna use a phone without a keyboard. I wish there was a way I could be a girl

you must defeat my several exes which I refrain from passing moral judgment upon out of a place of empathy but whom definitely acted in ways that, although understandable within the context of their life and the forces they were subject to, inflicted a lot of deep wounds I did not deserve to delicate parts of myself which have not and may never heal. if you want in my boy hole, that is.

bro lemme show u how sex REALLY works *picks up large rock from forest ground*

*aborted bandmate voice* i would be touching you in a vaguely gay way onstage right now... if i existed

wiping my cheeto dust hands on your shirt. i want to build a beautiful life with you

I’m chained up in a basement and tortured + bleeding but I’m not an emaciated little twink so no one even cared enough to jack off to it