slow and solemn somersaults

Someone needs to hire a better Etsy witch

*guy with an undiagnosed disability voice:* haha it’s kinda crazy how everyone just deals with the constant unending pain but we just keep trucking per usual 💯💯💯

i am a mollusc, you are an irritant, and i am actively coating you with successive depositions of nacreous material which will eventually render you beautiful, silent, smooth, and quite dead

thanks

you’re welcome :) now silence

.

having now watched all 5 seasons of wwdits: if i was guillermo i would give them all ipads loaded up with baby sensory videos with silly straws full of blood and then i would go about my day. based on my research this is a foolproof plan because none of them could resist a dancing ai generated strawberry. for laszlo i would give all of the fruits very tiny penises

And we know this works because that's what Louis does with Armand

sorry babe i can’t hang out tonight my quest marker says i have to report back to the jarl