Everything happens so much

Legolas and Gimli are the most obvious example– going from worst enemies to friends who are ready to “die side-by-side.”

Gandalf and Pippin also began the series at odds– wise old Gandalf constantly annoyed by how foolish Pippin was– but by the end of the series, they’ve grown to respect each other and become close friends.

And then there’s Aragorn and Boromir. They were introduced as bitter rivals who hated each other….. but by the end of FOTR Aragorn’s love for Boromir, and Boromir’s faith in Aragorn, ends up being what finally convinces Aragorn to accept the responsibility of saving his kingdom.

A 27 year old Hobbit kid, so he’s like 14 in our years. Gandalf, ageless demi-god-angel person, rivals with a fucking idiot 14 year old. 

Amazing. 

Gandalf:

“Walk straight and hold your breath so your rolls don’t show.”

“When you sit put a cushion on your belly so your rolls don’t show.”

“Nobody will ever like you because you look like a barrel of shit.”

These are things my father would say to me, when all I wanted was to play with my teddy bears and have friends. Years later, even after losing weight, I cannot stop thinking of how fat I am, I don’t look at my body in mirrors, when passing by a window of a shop I do not look at my reflection, when taking a selfie I make sure I take it from the right angle, when I cross a street I’m anxious of what people in their cars might think of my body.

head chef, who happens to be covered head to toe in centipedes and stale canola oil: i am Cobfident that chef ramsay will enjoy my food. there is nothing wrong with my food. my food is perfect, five stars. 

gordon ramsay: i will have the risotto 

head chef: ok [throws some rice into a sewer, lights it on fire, and empties a packet of frozen kraft singles into the flames] 

gordon ramsay: *takes a bite* this sucks 

If you’re in the path of the hurricane here are some vital information packets:

Have an evacuation plan and finalize it now <– This is vital and often over simplified, please read through this

If you have the means build your disaster kit TODAY Even if you don’t live in the path of this storm, if you live in any severe weather prone area you need one of these

If you have pets you need to hammer down a safe and reliable evacuation spot. Call your local health department and ask if shelters accept animals. Check surrounding hotels and ask with them. Nobody wants to leave their pets behind so be prepared for both your lives!

Lower your fridge/freezer thermostat to the lowest setting possible

Never ever ever run a generator indoors

Don’t risk driving through flood waters

NOAA Radio for updates

What to do when you can come back

This hurricane has officially hit a category 5. To give you an idea of the strength of this storm:

Harvey was a category 4.

Katrina and Andrew were a category 5 and Irma is at the moment is stronger than both of them. This hurricane is going to cause absolute destruction when it hits. Puerto Rico (especially this beautiful isla)  Cuba, Haiti, Dominican Republic and Florida are all in it’s path. Here’s a checklist if you can afford these supplies.

Food

Bottled Water- a week’s supply minimum (One gallon daily per person)

Non perishable items that don’t require cooking ( Tuna, nuts, fruit cups, Cereal bars, peanut butter, crackers, dried fruits, canned vegetables, chili)

Dry pet food 

Packaged juices 

Powdered or canned milk 

Supplies

Manual can opener

Toilet paper 

Baby wipes ( this will make a great alternative for showers)

Batteries ( AAA, AA, 6V, C, and D)

Flash lights (if you have manual ones even better)

Battery powered radio 

Utility knife 

Waterproof matches 

5 gallons of gas

Tampons and pads 

Portable phone charger fully charged)

Sand bags (redirects water and debris flow)

First aid kit

Blankets 

Rain gear - Ponchos, boots. (avoid umbrellas)

Medications 

Portable cooler

Documentation / Legal End

A closed water proof sealed container

Take pictures and send them to yourself in an email of the following: Drivers License, photo ID, social security numbers, medical insurance cards (of each person) 

Take photos of everything! Insurance companies are not your friends. Email everything to yourself. 

If you have young children and they are able to make sure they memorize your name, address, and phone number

Other tips: 

Before the hurricane hits fill up the bath tubs in your house (extra water for flushing the toilet) 

Bring any ornaments from outside inside 

Trim trees

Board your windows

Have a secure room that you an pile everyone ( has to have no windows)