This time is different though, because he's not alone.

My gift to @moosu for the Handers gift exchange! I loved all your prompts but I couldn't help but pick this one.

It has been an honor and pleasure to draw this for you!! ;v;/ I enjoyed drawing more of the rogue armor too. So many belts~

Thinking about how he probably wanted nothing more than family after seeing Hawke with their own (even after seeing Hawke lose them), and his sister betrayed him for wealth. For status. Things Hawke worked their ass off to give to their family. Hawke becomes a criminal as a mercenary or smuggler to help their family/support them and Bethany/Carver are grateful for it, and rarely ask more of them. They love them, and all they need is Hawke at the end of the day because they’re family.

Thinking about how Fenris saw the first healthy concept of family in his life, felt hope over it, and then lost it. And refuses to bring it up again because his sister is just another betrayal in a long line. The only person Fenris can rely on is seemingly Hawke.

I think the companion conversations with Hawke following Leandra’s death reflect some of the game’s best writing. I love every single one of them, but Fenris’s is my favorite.

I’ve seen some people comment that they were disappointed in this exchange—that they wished Fenris had been more eloquent or comforting. Personally, I appreciated the recognition that there are different ways people grieve, and different ways people console. I hail from the Fenris school of not “filling these moments with empty talk”, and would much rather have someone to just sit with. So, I tend to find Fenris’s awkward little exchange the most comforting of all. 

Nobody really knows what to say in a situation like this. I sure as fuck don’t. I’ve been in the position of “ridiculously terrible things happen to someone I love and what on earth can I do to help” and I don’t know if I handled it quite this well.

Fenris is not the most socially capable person (UNDERSTATEMENT AHOY) but he does get that this isn’t about him right now. He’s been staying away from Hawke even though he wants to be with him/her, even though leaving was “the hardest thing I’ve ever done”, and he’s got a giant pile of his own angst that he’s dealing with right now. But he gets that Hawke needs somebody and even though he has no clue what a person is supposed to do he shows up. He tries. He clearly feels terribly awkward and inadequate but he tries anyway for Hawke.

...and it happens in Act 1, during the quest Fenris Recruited.

Fenris: I've wanted to leave my past behind me. But it won't stay there. Fenris: Tell me, have you never wanted to return to Ferelden? Hawke: I've started a life here. Fenris: And that's it? You leave it behind so easily? Hawke: I've lost my brother to the Blight. Fenris: And now he no longer matters to you? Fenris: I apologize. Your life is your own, it simply… sounds very familiar.

I've witnessed it while I was rivalmaxxing and it is just. So. They both end up stumbling on each other trauma mines like elephants in a china shop. The way Fenris sounds genuinely bewildered and upset when Hawke brushes his past in Ferelden away. The way Hawke abruptly whips out the dead sibling card to stop the conversation in its tracks. The way Fenris continues to press the issue until he stops himself as he realizes he overstepped because he experienced Recognition Of Self Through The Other (Derogatory).

He doesn't elaborate on what exactly sounds so familiar to him, but I bet it is about his time with the Fog Warriors, and how he regrets betraying them, and how he persuaded himself that "there is no life for me [on Seheron]". Hawke seems to share that experience to an extent, but, if we are going with these specific dialogue choices, they choose instead to look away and let the sleeping horrors lie. Drastically different coping strategies between them two, in addition to Fenris being much more willing to express himself to a semi-stranger than Hawke, who is being very protective of their hurt and doesn't want to say more than absolutely needed, if anything at all. Which is an interesting detail, considering how Fenris' supposedly has that stoic, troubled personality. But while being troubled, he is plenty reflective and open to communication, provided you are respectful.

This is best with purple Hawke, because all the dialogue before that they are joking and jiggling their jester bells, and then its just abrupt change to a very hostile tone that usually is reserved for red options. I really does wake you up a bit, in the middle of otherwise pleasant conversation.

I remember how when DA2 was being made there was so much hype, and I was not thrilled at all. Origins left such a strong impression on me, I hated the idea of moving on to something different. Change was always difficult for me to accept, any change. I know a lot of people didn't want to part with their wardens, there's nothing original in that, but...

I hated Hawke before he even came into existence. I only wanted to see more of my Warden and Zevran who turned my world upside down.

Instead, they made this new character who spoke and had a semblance of an actual personality which I couldn't even control!

Then Bioware started feeding us little snippets of the game, and I saw the grumpy little brother, obviously displeased with his life, which pretty much instantly endeared him to me, and I thought I could try playing this game just to make him smile. Also, I really liked Nicholas Boulton's voice, and didn't mind hearing more of him (my Warden was a city fem elf, so I thought working with him would be fun).

The demo came out when I more or less started to come to terms with the fact that I'll never see my warden again, but may still hear something about her, and I was desperate for something. I played with all combinations of classes and genders, absolutely hated the gameplay - still do, loved being a rogue in DAO, but here it makes me want to smash my keyboard - but was very happy to find that mages are much more fun to play now, since I wanted to have Carver in my team.

Okay, but I still hated Hawke. I didn't know anything about his story, didn't care to know, and I told him right away "You will fail". I really didn't want him to succed, there was no way he could ever compare to HOF, who solved every single problem, saved every single soul she could save, and befriended everyone she ever met. The icon of diplomacy and efficiency, with just enough arrogance to be lovable (cocky elf voice FTW!) I still miss her so much.

The good thing about not caring too much about this guy was that I actually allowed Hawke to be human. I didn't feel pressured to play the hero who must always make the right choice. He was allowed to make questionable decisions, to fail, it was expected of him. I didn't want a lousy wannabe superhero. Can't persuade that angry Dalish elf on Wounded coast? That's okay, Hawke, you're not the Warden - she definitely could have talked her down. A crowd of weary Fereldans protecting Anders? Carver, you go talk to them.

On and on, it became more apparent that Hawke's story would not be as glorious as the Warden's, and he won't be as much of a hero. He truly was just a guy who was trying to get by and take care of his family and friends. No ambition to fix the world and save everyone.

The Warden remains an unachievable ideal I can only dream of emulating.