~The One and Only General~

I have never reblogged anything faster.

y’all really are so talented

You’ve heard of Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary. Now get ready for New Enemies Junior Cat Battleground.

In case anyone’s wondering is because getting an x ray once is so barely harmful that it rounds to zero but standing in front of an x ray emitter 40 hours a week for years will definitely kill you

If I go to the bar and have one drink with the bartender I’ll be fine. If the bartender has a drink with every patron then they will die

This is all true and immediately obvious to anyone who thinks about it for more than 1.5 seconds, but it doesn’t change the fact that “dude goes to egypt to press a button” is still the funniest set of words I’ve read today.

I feel so called out

Memes have become so heavily context-dependent that they briefly spawned a side-phenomenon of corporations mistakenly assuming that the image combinations are simply random, and that “randomness” is what the new generation finds humorous, and then deliberately creating nonsense ads in a desperate attempt to appeal to the youth, which went on for several years before they finally started hiring younger social media managers.