I Love You

I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

its too cold

Gazpacho

no tomatos in it

there's at least one tomato in it

I'm not saying Canadian truth-in-advertising laws are perfect, but I just got a promotional email with five separate footnoted disclaimers in the space of as many sentences, and it's kind of fun to see exactly how they plan to screw you over clearly outlined in bulleted list format.

I still get business-to-business emails for a certain industry, and I often get both the American-directed and Canadian-directed emails. Now, truth in advertising doesn't exactly apply to B2B advertising, but it did change what precedents were set with relation to fraud. And now and again, you do get two wildly different emails, mostly of the variety where some claims just . . . don't appear in the Canadian version of the email. Rows missing off comparison tables and the like. My holy grail, should I ever receive it, will be when the Canadian version simply makes no claims whatsoever.

I think my favourite example that I've encountered of promotional claims varying by jurisdiction is a breakfast cereal where the front of the American packaging says it contains 22 essential vitamins and minerals, but the front of the Canadian packaging for the exact same cereal with the exact same listed ingredients only says it contains 9 essential vitamins and minerals.

I despise you. May every peach you bite into be astringent and large of stone. May your wife cheat on you with the footman and you be forced to raise his bastard son. May every cigarette you light drop from your fingers and burn a hole in your trousers or your carpets. May your dog favor your neighbor as it’s master and never return to you again.

passports…should not expire

actually i have decided that passports shouldn’t exist at all

people who wrap bandages around their hands to protect them and people who wear fingerless gloves are like two divergent evolutions of the same species

Scream Queens was really ahead of its time

so true bestie

... that look AWESOME!

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

how am I ever supposed to leave tumblr when it takes me on journeys like this

Are clowns patriotic

are you?

I’m asking the questions here. Would a clown die for its country

everyone who has ever died for their country was a clown