Cream and Sugar

Almost 30% of you have absolutely no skincare routine? Not a drop of moisture outside of water touches your body? I need you to know that isn’t normal actually 💔

everyone talks about how strong and great Aragorn was for refusing the ring when Frodo offered it to him as if this man has not spent his entire life dodging leadership and responsibilities like bullets in the matrix 🙄

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

Red Delicious Apples

May I someday gain the same level of succinct cutting vitriol criticism as the applerankings.

If I don't see any code geass cosplayers at the revolution themed dashcon I'm gonna be ... well, unsurprised. Because it's a largely forgotten show from 2006. But still slightly sad ... because the revolution themed dashcon is an excellent habitat for code geass cosplayers

@gdchans

imagine you're some guy and you're going through the woods one day and you stumble upon a house and the people who live there just give you free food and eventually let you inside and it's like nothing you've ever seen before and the people are so nice and loving towards you and then one day they decide to never let you leave again, steal your balls, and give you a stupid fucking hair cut

does anyone have that unsettling oil painting of a dark window with a sheet leading out into the darkness? it did the rounds on tumblr a while ago and i need itttt

Litmus test for “is the brightness on your phone too low for art appreciation”

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

“if you’re plus sized you can just shop on shein/amazon/cider, they have a good selection!!” yeah but i don’t want to rely on fast fashion. i think fat people deserve more ethical and high quality clothing choices

Shout out to Chub Rub Clothing too! By and for fat people and really cute to boot!

THANK YOU

Maya kern is also a shop for plus sized people! Cute skirts highly recommend! @mayakern

Can also recommend @shopwitchvamp

Yu-Gi-Oh fans really saw the scalpers coming and said "You've activated my trap card".

I suppose if you never look inside the skull you can fool yourself that the brain is some vague portal to an angelic realm of pure cognition, but once you find that squeezing this bit turns you blind but only on odd days of the week and a sharp tap to that bit makes the color yellow smell like strawberries and changes your religion then you being to realise it’s just another organ as fiddly and temperamental as your small intestine or your kidneys and about as rational.

THE SOUP NEEDS TO HE JOSTLED OR IT WILL BE SAD

also sorry i’m so tired of people acting like they can have nothing in common with someone a few years older or younger than them. have you never had coworkers who aren’t your exact age. have you never taken an art class with someone thirty years older than you. have you never had a friend. like did covid fry everyone’s brains this badly

I’m very pro-rereading books you loved as a child at different stages in your life

nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in