finally moving

I just want to get dicked down again =/

Back when I worked at walgreens I didn't know witch hazel was a real thing people would come in asking for it and I'd be like yeah it's on aisle 3 next to the wolfsbane and eye of newt you fucking idiot bastard

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

so much of life is needing to pee. enough already

How's the dental?

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

Was made to groove

my man

the mystery bruises you're getting aren't from anemia or something stupid like that. they're from me. i go into your house while you're asleep and softly hit you with hammers until i am satisfied

and yes, it is sexual

NDA stands for Non't Dalk Aboutit

My whole entire life I've been a mammal but I've never drunk directly from the stream. Is this living?

Hold on gonna try something

I feel alive!

Giardia

It’s always some kind of green glowing goo with you people.