🙀👽

fuuuuck i forgot to give a shit about stupid bullshit that doesnt matter 🤦‍♀️

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

she went after my cock like she was smeego. and I was that gay little ring.

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

what do you mean you havent used mindfulness techniques to accept the state of the torture labyrinth as is yet. its like youre not even trying

Middle aged women who aren’t very well versed in social media post with a sort of instinctive savant hilariousness that reminds me of the poetry of children who haven’t learned what good poetry sounds like yet

my super sustainable bmw

Cider is like if beer transitioned and stopped hating herself