you guys i really do feel so fragile. i don’t know if it’s my PMDD making everything worse and even more raw but i feel so afraid for myself and scared. i don’t know who to turn to. i don’t have anyone irl i can turn to
like what do i do? nhs is refusing to help me and there’s no one i can talk to in my life. me and my mum still aren’t talking (since november) and our relationship won’t ever be the same and i’m grieving that everyday. i cant forgive her for what she’s done to me. the betrayal and grief is suffocating me. my sister and i don’t speak, that relationship is irreparable. and my friends… well, they don’t know what’s going on and i can’t talk to them about it. people will see you struggling, your own “friends”, and won’t bother to even text. i’m so alone in this world and so lost with no one to turn to. no where to go. i’m 30 this year. with no family and friends who i can even call. i cant and don’t want to do this anymore. they tell you it gets better, when? it’s been nearly 15 years. i’m so tired. and it’s not that i havent tried. please don’t read this and think i haven’t tried because i’ve been trying since i was little. i’ve never just rolled over and given up. i’ve ironically nearly killed myself many times by trying so hard. i just don’t have the strength anymore. i wish i could just tell someone what’s happened.
