Cat of Gallifrey

did you google how to take a screen shot

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

feng shui sabotage by placing thousands of tiny ball bearings in a bag under your couch you won't see them but you'll feel the clutter

so many people have inspired me to be nothing like them

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

the alphabet says HI but it doesnt actually mean it bcause it said JK afterwards what a fucken asshole

'disembowel' is such a good word. y'know your bowels? they are GONE

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

I always start grocery shopping thinking "this will be more expensive than I expect" but even adjusting my expectations it is still more expensive than I expect

i put 80 dollars of food in my basket and then i pay 200 dollars for it