dnd

Centuries of documented, systematic, institutional abuse (emotional, physical, sexual, financial, legal) and we are supposed to feel guilty about a woman who figured out how to make the dynamic work in her favor for once. Absolutely not. The same systems that denied women the right to own property, to have bank accounts in their own names, to leave marriages without losing their children, to work without their husband’s permission, to press charges against the men who hurt them, to be believed when they spoke. These systems were built by men and maintained by men and benefited men for so long that the current generation of women is still navigating the residue of them in their daily lives. So when a woman uses what she has to extract resources, security, opportunity, or simply a more comfortable life, I genuinely cannot locate the moral problem. I have looked. It is not there.

I have very limited moral outrage left for women who manipulate, leverage relationships, marry strategically or otherwise use the systems available to them to secure wealth, status, comfort, or protection. Men built entire legal, financial and social systems around benefiting themselves and locking women out of stability, wealth, autonomy, credibility and safety and somehow I’m supposed to collapse in moral horror because a woman decided to secure the lifestyle she wanted through marriage, charm, strategy, proximity, whatever?

A person with good values can you see your worth even if they can’t reach it. And they act accordingly or leave respectfully. Really need you guys to understand this

Once a person disrespects you, lowering yourself to their level just shows you’re willing to abandon your standards to match their behavior. And the moment you do that, you blur the line between what you tolerate and what you become

Real power isn’t in retaliation. It’s in restraint, clarity, and boundaries. It’s in being so grounded in your standards that disrespect doesn’t provoke you, it disqualifies them

You don’t teach people how to treat you by acting like them. You teach them by what you allow, what you ignore, and what you walk away from. If a person doesn’t treat you how you treat them or deserve to be treated, you leave. “Easier said than done.” Not really

It only feels hard when you’re more attached to the person than you are to your standards. When you are looking for love outside of yourself, because you’re not giving it to yourself. When you start valuing your peace, your self respect, and your time more than temporary connection, the decision becomes extremely clear. If it doesn’t feel that way, then you’re just not at the place with yourself I am describing. Because it indeed becomes extremely clear

You’re not losing them. You’re choosing yourself