Vash The Stampede :)

i dont even have sex i just make the posts for clout

Unfortunately me until Thursday

bro has sex scheduled on thursday

Gonna go have plot important sex with my protagonist wife

hey um i’ve got some bad news. we mulled your boyfriend. he fell in the wine and we mulled him. yeah with the cinnamon sticks.

I really don't care if Miley Cyrus smoked a bong. She's 18? She can live her own life...

i hate it when i see boobs on the dash because i dont even wanna look at boobs most of the time but if i see boobs its like fuuuck might as well

might as well what

activate my great & horrible machine

santa deniers on science-mas eve hearing charles darwin evolving down the chimney

a really little animated black cat with giant eyes and no other discernible features

That’s just how black cats be

I love Matilda because it’s a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren’t fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn’t fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

well personally me and my soulmate use our red string of fate to trip people over

would you guys still like me if I got shot in the forehead and fell backwards

Like on the ground?

yeah like on the ground or something

there are breasts on my roof. scampering about. wretched

th- there are what

BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS

die girlies reading this 🥰

oh my god I meant in a german accent I did not mean to wish death upon girlies

NEINNNNNN—