The Star Bar

Something about Apothecary Diaries and the complexity of what it means to have a mother. Something about Maomao and her only memories of her mother being silence or a pain that has nothing to do with her but is reflected onto her anyway, and yet still engineering things so that Lakan, years later, would come to find and marry her. Something about all of the courtesans in the Verdigris House being like mother figures to Maomao, yet never paying attention to her when she cried. Something about Loulan doing everything in her power to not be a mother - taking drugs to avoid it, knowing that to have a child would be a selfish, cruel thing, even down to 'killing' the children who adore her. Something about Jinshi, and both of his mothers - the one who birthed him and the one who raised him. Anshi, and raising him to be mature and older than he should have had to be to be the opposite of his grandfather, the man who victimized her, and Ah-Duo, unable to be in his life because she chose to give him up. Something about mothers not being unconditional and uncomplicated; something about motherhood being absent, ugly, confined by circumstance or by past pain. Something about not wanting to be your mother; something about being too much like your mother. Something about how your mother haunts you regardless.

I forgot how much Griffin telegraphs the big twist in Balance. He straight up says "oh yeah you could hide stuff from people who've been inoculated if there was a second voidfish" at one point. Lukas brings it up when he's arguing with Yohan about the voidfish too. Plus anyone knowledgeable enough about music could figure out EGG BABE and we first hear that pretty early on. I've never really interacted with the TAZ fandom and I listened long after Balance ended but I imagine there must have been a good amount of people who figured out there was a second voidfish way before the reveal. I kinda love that honestly, I enjoy a figure out-able twist. Not that I ever figure them out but I love going back and being like oh yeah this was so obvious in retrospect.