"Welcome back to Homonarium Central! I'm Humans Vlo'yiuynia and today we're checking in on my longest running homonarium, Earth. It's been a few decades since I last gave you all an in-depth look, and to be honest, it's because I was desperately trying to keep it alive. It was in no state to show off.
"You've seen me go on and on about the intelligence that actually lurks in humans. I've shown you the clever little things they can get up to. Just like their wild cousins, the humans in my Earth homonarium constantly work towards improving their grasp of the facets of reality they can perceive. Well, a while ago, they finally discovered how to break down the third-tier structural components of three dimensional space - what they refer to as 'atoms' - and release the energy stored within. Due to the ongoing conflict between several of the tribes, they almost immediately turned the discovery into a weapon.
"I don't need to remind you all just how toxic high-energy electromagnetic forces are to three-dimensional carbon-based beings. Sure, it adds a nice spice to a meal for us, but to these little critters it's not much different than falling into the Realm of Empty Dreams. Phew... that's a scary thought.
"At first it seemed like they scared themselves into taking it easy. Humans are funny things; they can be so bold as to mouth off at your third dimensional form, or they can go running for the darkest corners they can find because you rode a fiery chariot across the sky. Since they spooked themselves, I was getting ready to put together another in-depth video, when two of the tribes got mad at each other and started making these weapons in excess.
"Fellow higher beings, I had to intervene more times the following decades than I had since I that time their population crashed to only a few thousand individuals. It was scary! Change a fleet of missiles into a flock of birds here, boost the defiance of a guy who doesn't want to push a button there. I was so scared that I might go rest for a couple years and wake up to find the homonarium in a nuclear winter.
"Things are still tense in there, but they haven't been as imminently dire for a couple of decades. I'm still dealing with some climatic issues in there - keep an on eye those CO2 levels, fellow homonarium keepers, they can spike out of nowhere if your humans get a bit coal-happy - but it's stable enough that I figured I could take the time to give you an update finally.
"Oh [untranslatable swear that would literally explode a human brain if it tried to comprehend even a fraction of its meaning], one of the tribes is getting fiesty. There's a weird orange mutation that showed up a while ago and something about it is deficient; abnormally unintelligent, greedy, and aggressive. I need to go handle this, so I'm going to have to cut today's look into my Earth homonarium short. I'll see you next time; I should have another look at the Myrth homonarium for you all next decade. Until then, be sure to hit that Worship button and Dedicate to my Realm to be notified when I release that into the aether. Until next time on Homonarium Central!"
