Misplaced Lens Cap
KIROKAZE
Jules of Nature
Cosmic Funnies
Discoholic 🪩
h
Origami Around
#extradirty
hello vonnie
trying on a metaphor
Cosimo Galluzzi
@theartofmadeline
todays bird
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Not today Justin
Today's Document
🪼
seen from Iraq
seen from Australia
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Austria
seen from Germany
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from United States
@fyiads-dance
Watching a friend play some Warhammer game, asking "is anyone in warhammer happy?" and then receiving a 40+ min explanation was the highlight of my day
I was like "damn, not even the emperor?" to which they replied, dead serious "especially not the emperor"
This guy is actually probably the happiest dude in all of 40k
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"if you're going to eat that rotisserie chicken please do it in an area where none of us can see" you hate me. you hate me because i have different eating habits than you and you want me to STARVE
look upon my works ye mighty and weep (im not done there's still plenty of good meat on there)
reviews are in
"plenty of good meat on there"
Achievement unlocked!
RECONSTRUCT WHAT?!?!
THERES NOTHING LEFT.
aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
my hand accidentally slips into the bandsaw and the Unreal Tournament announcer screams out "FIRST BLOOD" as I am instantly gibbed
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
idk what 25-30+ year olds need to hear this but 10 years ago was 2016, not 2006. the switch almost 10 years old. the ds is over 20 years old
Fuck… I could really use more chicken tikka masala, garlic naan and mango lassi…
I'm scrolling Tumblr. I pause to watch a video of Amaury Guichon. He pours chocolate into a mold, then carefully removes the shape of a human head. There are time lapse clips of chocolate being formed into a body, limbs, and hair. As the final detail is finished, he steps back to reveal the figure of a beautiful woman, uncannily lifelike. He steps forward and places a delicate kiss on her lips. The figure, now a living human woman, stirs and looks around in wonder. Amaury Guichon looks into the camera with a wide smile and holds out his arms in presentation.
"Fucking chocolate guy," I mutter to myself before scrolling to the next post.
i could never handle immortality not because of any existential reasons but because i know itd make my procrastination so much worse. catch me putting off tasks for decades. catch me putting off tasks for centuries. what do you mean that movie ive been meaning to get around to became lost media 40 years ago. what do you mean that landmark ive been meaning to visit has been eroded. oooh i got PLANY of time..............
Who would win?
🐎
🦀
voter fraud, GO!
🐎
🐎
Notes:
Second poll will remain open until 50 years from publishing
Bot options share a UUID, making a vote for either count for both
Previously, a vote in the first poll counted for both options in the second
A vote for the second poll increases the vote count for both polls, despite the first ostensibly being closed
What the fuck does the back end of this website look like
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“You need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become” - Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
it’s seasonal lads
IT’S SEASONAL AGAIN LADS
‘Tis the season so I’ll reblog my absolute favorite Terry Pratchett quote ever
Happy holidays folks
welp
#The wisdom#The kind that sits on your chest heavily#And you don’t so much get over it as you learn to keep existing with its weight
I’m fairly certain that the people who make the “batman could make himself obsolete by using his money to solve the economic strain that drives many people to crime” posts are only familiar with Batman through Will Arnett’s spoof performance in the Lego movie, since that’s the only version of Batman I know where he isn’t hiring so many ex-convicts at his company so they have a legitimate source of income and using so much money to fund social programs that all the other bigwigs at Wayne Enterprises hate him and want him gone
Literally every version of his origin story I can remember involves him realizing that he can’t just treat the symptoms as Batman, he has to treat the root cause as Bruce Wayne. A huge part of the plot of “The Dark Knight Rises” is that his company is on the verge of bankruptcy because Bruce keeps spending all their profits on things like “clean energy” and “food and shelter for orphans.”
The opening of “Arkham City” shows him campaigning against mass incarceration because the majority of the inmates in Arkham City are not public menaces like the Joker, they’re desperate people with no other options, and Gotham should be providing them with legitimate means of stability rather than punishing them for having none.
Especially since the majority of his villains are independently wealthy people (doctors, lawyers, business executives) who are exploiting people’s desperation in order to get themselves henchmen, and the henchmen almost always have jobs with a living wage waiting for them on the other side of their sentence, and Bruce has a standing offer to pay out-of-pocket for the therapy of any of his villains whose crimes are the result of a mental illness (which Bruce is sympathetic to since he is mentally ill himself)
But what’s really damning about these posts is that a lot of them suggest Bruce should use his money to give the police the resources they need to deal with crime on their own, which makes it clear they’ve never actually consumed a piece of Batman media, since the issue with the Gotham Police is not that they’re underfunded. They have a bloated budget, they’re almost militant, and they’re so corrupt that they actually encourage crime, both violent and economic, because they’re on the payroll of the richest criminals.
Also, some of them refer to Batman as a “old rich white man’s wet dream” and I really disagree here. A story that says the only rich dude in the world who’s not a criminal drain on society is the one who spends the majority of his hefty inheritance and all his corporate profits trying to correct the imbalance that allowed him his wealth in the first place, whose staunch belief is that the best crime control policy is building a world where no one feels crime is necessary, as well as refusing to support mass incarceration or police corruption, systems which stand to benefit him financially? Batman is an old rich white man’s worst nightmare.
Bruce Wayne tends to spend so much of his wealth on social reform and funding charities for the needy and helping desperate ex-cons get back on their feet so they don’t have to resort to crime again, that they had to invent ancient curses and shit to explain why Gotham continues to be a shithole because it begins to stretch plausibility that there’s so much call for Batman in a city that has Bruce Wayne in it.
I like them so much they have no right to be so inspiring
it's annoying that video games disable achievements when you install mods. i DID kill alduin who cares if thomas the tank engine was there
from today's entry:
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction
Reblog to give prev the TIME to write their fanfiction
Comment on prev's fic to give prev ENCOURAGEMENT to write their fanfiction
I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true
@unpretty
“Hey, that— that guy, in the corner, is that— is that Superman?”
Clark looks up from his computer at the new intern. “Oh, no,” he says. “You caught me.”
“Clark, you pull this shit every time, man,” his desk neighbor Steve says. “Shut the fuck up.”
“No, the kid’s right, I’m Superman,” Clark says. He gets out of his seat and cracks his back out. “I guess we’re gonna have a superhero fight.”
“Clark, sit back down.”
“Nope. Superhero fight.”
“Clark if you don’t sit the hell back down and finish your article by lunch I am going to tell Perry on you.”
Clark points at the intern. “You get off easy this time, buddy,” he says, and sits back down.
“So…” the intern says, very lost. “Uh…”
“That’s Clark,” a slightly older and more experienced intern says. “He’s Superman’s asshole twin.”
The funniest part is when Clark does this in front of Jimmy Olsen, who is just staring in disbelief as Clark talks about using his superpowers to help Ma Kent on the farm in a sarcastic tone of voice, when Jimmy knows for a fact it’s 100% true, that is what Clark did last weekend.
Intern: “Ahahahah Superman in Kansas tilling the fields at superspeed, that’s a good one. What, if the tractor breaks down, do you just pick it up and take it back to the barn?”
Clark: “Nah, between my ex-ray vision and my heat vision I can generally find whatever the problem is and do a spotweld if necessary so long as I know where to get the parts - once had to nip over to South Korea because I didn’t want to wait 6 weeks for the ship to get there.”
Intern: “Bahahaha classic, Clark you are so funny! Superman fixing tractors with his heat vision, oh that’s a good one.”
Jimmy: “…”
